


Seasons May Change

by AntarcticBird



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:51:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1303885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntarcticBird/pseuds/AntarcticBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the time he's five years old, Kurt's best friend lives right across the street – at least for the holidays. (A story about friendship, loneliness and love, told through a series of summers and winters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kurt is Five Years Old

**Author's Note:**

> I owe both [Pace](mailroomorder.tumblr.com) and [Sandy](completelyunabashed.tumblr.com) a year's supply of cookies and beer for listening to my endless babbling about this fic and explaining to me the many intricacies of American food and education and health care and kids' party games. I feel much wiser now than I was before. No but really, you guys are the best betas, thank you so much! Also, working with [riverance](riverance.tumblr.com) on this has been an absolute joy, her art is fantastic and I love everything she made for this fic. You should all go and tell her she's amazing, because she is!

****  
Summer  


He stands in his driveway after he gets out of the car and stares across the street, because there's a boy there. There's never been a boy there. He's very little and clutching a stuffed animal to his chest and Mrs Anderson is crouching down in front of him, talking and smiling as the boy nods.

Kurt likes Mrs Anderson. She's really, _really_ old, much older even than Kurt's dad and Kurt's mom. But last week when he tripped and fell and scraped his knee in front of her house, she came outside and helped him up and asked him if he was okay. Sometimes, when he walks by her front yard, she gives him a cookie. She never yells at any of the kids on the block to get off her lawn. She's a nice old lady.

She looks up now to see Kurt standing there staring at her and the little boy, and she waves at him, waving for him to come over. Kurt hesitates. He's not supposed to be crossing the street on his own. His mom's hand touches the back of his head and he looks up at her.

“It's okay, buddy,” she says. “Do you want to go over?”

Kurt nods. “Yes.”

“Come on,” his mom says and they walk to the edge of the street and his mom makes him look left and right very carefully. “Do you see any cars?” she asks.

“No,” Kurt announces proudly. “No cars.”

“Then run across. And call for me when you want to come back over, okay? I'm just going to take the shopping bags inside quickly.”

Kurt runs across the street, stopping in front of the low fence, gripping the bars of the door tightly. “Hi, Mrs Anderson,” he calls.

“Kurt, hello.” She smiles at him.”I want you to meet my grandson Blaine. I was hoping the two of you would like to be friends. He doesn't know anyone here yet.” She turns her head to look back at the boy. “Blaine, this is Kurt. Remember, I told you about Kurt.”

Kurt pushes the garden door open and walks inside. The boy, Blaine, is even shorter than Kurt had thought. He's even shorter than _Kurt_ , and Kurt was the shortest one in his preschool. Blaine is practically a _baby_. “How old are you?” Kurt asks, looking him up and down, going on to explain, “I'm five! I start kindergarten this year!” He's not sure he wants to be friends with a baby. The other kids are already making fun of his height, if they see him with someone as short as Blaine -

“I'm five too,” Blaine tells him excitedly. “And grandma is making ice cream. She makes it herself. But I help! Do you want some too?”

Kurt thinks about it. The boy really is awfully short, but he has really funny hair, it looks all fuzzy, and Kurt thinks maybe if they become friends he'll let him touch it. And Kurt really does love ice cream. “Okay,” he says. Then remembers what his mom had said about manners and corrects himself, “Yes, please.”

Blaine smiles at him very, very widely, and then – takes one hand off of his stuffed animal (a penguin, Kurt notices), and grabs for Kurt's hand, just like that, dragging him toward the front door. “Maybe you can help too!” He calls out excitedly. “Grandma, can Kurt help too? Can we have strawberry? It's my favorite. Do you like strawberry?” Blaine asks, looking at Kurt inquisitively.

Kurt nods quickly, because he loves strawberry. “I love strawberry!” he hurries to say.

“I'm just going to tell your mom that you're staying with us for a while,” Blaine's grandmother says, and Kurt barely has the time to look back over his shoulder before Blaine has pulled him into the house.

He's never actually been inside Mrs Anderson's house before. But it looks nice, and he takes his shoes off by the door when he sees Blaine doing the same.

He follows Blaine into the kitchen and is just about to ask him if he lives here now, when Mrs Anderson comes back and they start making ice cream.

**

Turns out, homemade ice cream really is delicious. They can't eat what they made that day because it has to go in the freezer. But apparently Blaine and his grandma already made more the day before. So they eat that, and Kurt thinks it's the best ice cream he's ever had. And he doesn't care anymore that Blaine is so short, it seems like being friends with him would be a very, very smart idea. He doesn't think Mrs Anderson would still give him ice cream if he were to tell her that her grandson looked like a _baby_.

So when she tells them to go play out in the backyard after they both finish their first bowls and then their second, he puts his shoes back on and follows Blaine outside.

They play hide and seek and Blaine is not very good at this game at all, because he finds the best hiding places and then doesn't stop giggling while Kurt looks for him. Kurt is awesome at hide and seek, though. One time, he crawls under the porch steps and it takes Blaine so long to find him, by the end of it Kurt is afraid that he'll miss dinner if he isn't found soon.

When Kurt's mom finally comes over and picks him up, he's almost sad that the day is over. Blaine might look like a baby, but he's really fun to play with.

So, while his mom talks with Mrs Anderson, Kurt quickly leans in close to Blaine's ear and whispers there, “Wanna be friends?”

Blaine beams at him and nods and then whispers back to him, “Yes, I do!”

“What were you whispering about with Blaine?” His mom asks as they cross the street to go home.

Kurt shakes his head. “That's a secret!”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” his mom says very seriously. “Forget I asked. Would you like pizza for dinner?”

Kurt says yes, but he only really thinks about going back over to Mrs Anderson's the next day and asking Blaine to play.

He hasn't even finished eating his breakfast the next morning, though, when the doorbell rings and his dad goes to open it. A few minutes later, Blaine is standing in their kitchen, looking at Kurt with big earnest eyes. “Hi, Kurt. Would you like to -”

Kurt swallows his cereal before Blaine can finish and blurts, “Can we have ice cream again?”

Blaine beams at him. “My grandma always gives me all the ice cream I want!”

Kurt definitely wants to be friends with Blaine.

 

**Winter**

Kurt knows Blaine will be coming back to stay with his grandmother over the Christmas holidays and he's been looking forward to it ever since Mrs Anderson told him about it. It's really neat, having a friend who lives right across the street. All the other kids on the block are older or younger than he is, except for Rachel, but she is always at ballet lessons or singing lessons and never has time to play. Not that Kurt even _wants_ to play with Rachel. Rachel is loud and bossy and Kurt doesn't like being told what to do, he's _five_ , he can make up his own mind, thank you very much.

“Mom, I have to _go_ , _stop_ that,” Kurt complains, trying to wriggle out of his mother's arms as she tries to wrap a scarf around his neck.

She frowns at him. “Kurt, hold still – and what's so important anyway, you can play outside every day ...”

“But, _mom_ , it's Christmas break. _Blaine_ comes today!”

His mom laughs. “It's a long drive from Columbus, honey, I don't think he'll be here this early.”

“I don't care, I'll wait at Mrs Anderson's. She said I could come over any time!”

“Are you sure about that, buddy?” his dad asks, putting on his own jacket so he can go to work.

“Yes!” Kurt glares up at him, because no one ever believes him, that's _so unfair_.

“Why don't you wait for him here? You can see when he arrives, and maybe then you can go over and -”

“No!” Kurt shakes his head, because, _no_! That wasn't the plan. “I want to go _now_!”

His dad sighs, opens the door, offers Kurt his hand. “Fine. Come on. We'll go over and ask Mrs Anderson. But, Kurt, if she says no, you have to go back home!”

“Fine,” Kurt agrees. He knows she won't say no. Mrs Anderson likes him.

“See you later sweetheart, and be good,” his mom calls after him.

Kurt hurries down the steps holding his dad's hand and eagerly eyeing the little house across the street. No sign of Blaine yet. But he'll be here soon!

**

Mrs Anderson does let him wait for Blaine at her house. She actually seems very pleased to see him, even though as soon as he's settled on the couch with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk and her favorite game show on the TV, she shakes her head at him and tells him he could have visited more often over the past few months, even if Blaine wasn't here.

Kurt promises that he'll come over every week from now on, and she smiles and ruffles his hair and takes up her knitting again.

They don't have to wait long at all, the show isn't even over by the time Kurt thinks he hears a car in the driveway. He sits up straight, careful to keep the plate with the cookies safely on his lap. “I can hear a car,” he says excitedly.

Mrs Anderson looks up from her knitting and smiles. “Well, run ahead, see if it's Blaine. I'll be there in a second.”

Kurt takes just enough time to place the plate with the cookies on the coffee table, then he runs toward the front door as fast as his (still rather short for his age) legs can carry him. When he opens it, there's a car parked in the driveway and a man with the same fuzzy hair as Blaine's pulling a duffel bag from the trunk.

And next to the car stands a boy.

“Blaine!” Kurt exclaims, waving enthusiastically.

“Kurt!” Blaine calls back, almost jumping up the driveway and onto the front porch. “I'm back!”

“Your grandma gave me cookies,” Kurt tells him, beaming. “I saved you some!”

“Thank you,” Blaine answers politely, and then he's being pulled into a hug by his grandmother and can't talk for a while.

**

Blaine's dad leaves the next day, and Kurt watches from his kitchen window as he hugs Blaine and then drives off. Then he watches Blaine talk with his grandma for a minute, and then he watches Blaine cross the street toward Kurt's house while his grandmother watches.

He's at the front door before Blaine has the chance to ring the doorbell.

“My mom and I are baking cookies today,” he informs Blaine.

“I haven't baked any cookies yet this year,” Blaine says, sounding really sad about it.

Kurt takes Blaine's hand to pull him inside. “Mom,” he calls. “Mom, can Blaine help us with the cookies?”

His mom sticks her head out the kitchen door. “Hello, Blaine,” she says, smiling. “Of course you can help, sweetheart.”

They make sugar cookies and Blaine is so excited that he's allowed to help, he almost falls out of his kitchen chair twice because he keeps bouncing in it. And every time he almost falls he makes the funniest face and grabs the edge of the table and says “ooops,” in a really silly voice, and Kurt doubles over with laughter. Blaine looks delighted.

Kurt owns about twenty different cookie cutters – the usual boring ones like trees and stars and hearts, but also really cool ones like a dolphin and a butterfly and a pig and a bird.

His favorite is the one that looks like a puppy. Blaine stares at it wide-eyed and interested. And Kurt remembers all the times he's already baked cookies with his mom this year and remembers that Blaine hasn't yet, and who knows if Blaine even has a puppy-shaped cookie cutter at home?

“Here, you can use this one,” Kurt says, handing the puppy over to Blaine.

Blaine looks so happy as he's making dozens of puppy-shaped sugar cookies, Kurt thinks it's totally worth it even if he himself is going to be ending up with mostly butterflies and hearts now. That's okay. This is the most fun he's had baking cookies all year, and Kurt loves baking.


	2. Kurt is Six Years Old

**Summer**

Kurt is riding his bike up and down the street, feeling a lot more confident about it than he did a week ago. His dad taught him and he's only recently completely mastered the skill. He feels better about riding it out on the sidewalk now that the training wheels are off. Most of the other kids on the block are older and he's always afraid they'll laugh at him. It's not like they haven't done it before, after all.

It's afternoon and he's a bit bored, and not for the first time, he wishes there was someone here he could play with. He's asked his mom and dad over and over for a little sister or brother, but he hasn't got one yet. It's so _unfair_.

He could go and see Mercedes, he supposes, but even she has less time for him now that she's friends with Tina. And Mike is friends with Finn and Puck now and all they ever want to do is play video games. Kurt doesn't like video games very much.

He's just resigned himself to a whole summer of riding his bike up and down the street all by himself – which is so _boring_ , and this is really just so silly because a minute ago he was having so much fun before he started feeling so sorry for himself – when a car pulls up the street and into Mrs Anderson's driveway.

Kurt stops pedaling and brakes carefully, putting both feet down for balance. He squints across the street and feels his face twist into a bright smile as a curly head of hair emerges from the backseat. He knows the boy getting out of that car, even though he hadn't known he'd be visiting again this summer. Mrs Anderson never told him. But it's definitely Blaine. He's back! Suddenly, his summer is looking a lot better.

Blaine must have seen him as they drove past Kurt a second ago, because he turns toward him immediately, jumping up and down and waving wildly. “Kurt! Kurt! I came back!”

“Hi Blaine,” Kurt calls back, climbing off his bike and looking left and right carefully before walking across the street, pushing his bike next to him.

Blaine's eyes widen as he watches Kurt approach. “That's a really neat bike,” he says.

“Thanks,” Kurt answers, proudly. “I picked it out myself.” It is really pretty and new and shiny and Kurt is glad that Blaine thinks so too. He leans it against the fence and walks the remaining steps into the Anderson driveway.

At that moment they're interrupted by Blaine's dad who says hello to Kurt and then tells Blaine to run inside and let his grandma know they're here while he gets Blaine's things from the car.

Kurt walks back home with his bike to give Blaine a little time to say hello to Mrs Anderson. But he's feeling a lot better now that he has his friend back.

**

The next day, they take turns riding Kurt's bike and Kurt is almost pleased to notice that Blaine is still a lot more wobbly on it than he himself is. Blaine seems okay with it, though. He just laughs every time he almost falls off and asks for another turn.

“You're getting better,” Kurt encourages him when Blaine makes it all the way down the line of the fence without falling off once.

Blaine beams. “My brother Cooper taught me. He rides his bike to school every day, so he's really good.”

They're still playing outside when Kurt's dad gets home from work that day.

“Having fun, boys?” he asks, smiling at them.

“Yes!” Blaine calls. “I'm faster than Kurt, but I can't turn corners yet.”

“Well, be careful,” Burt tells them, then heads inside. “Dinner soon, Kurt,” he calls back over his shoulder before he disappears through the door.

**

The next day is a Sunday, and when Kurt shows up at Blaine's, the garage door is open and Blaine is rummaging around inside.

“Hi,” Kurt says, squinting into the dim light of the garage. “What are you doing?”

Blaine looks up at him. “Grandma said that she still has dad's old bike in here and that I can have it for the summer if I find it. Help me look?”

Kurt nods and picks a careful way through the objects scattered across the floor. No wonder Mrs Anderson doesn't have a car. There wouldn't be any room for it in here anyway. It's a strange contrast to the neatness of her house.

It takes them about ten minutes of searching and digging through things until Blaine lets out a triumphant yell. “I found it! It's here!”

Kurt helps him drag it out from under the moldy old tarp and into the driveway where the light is much better.

It's a kid's bike, about the same size as Kurt's, but it's all dirty and a bit rusty and both wheels are flat, one of them even bent oddly out of shape.

“It's not as pretty as yours,” Blaine says. “I'm not sure it even still works.” He is trying to sound cheerful about it, but Kurt can see that he's really a bit disappointed. He doesn't like seeing Blaine sad, though, so he thinks quickly, biting his lip to come up with a way to cheer him up.

“Let's clean it,” he suggests finally. “That will make a difference. And my dad can fix everything, I'm sure he can fix this for you so that we both have a bike!”

“Really?” Blaine says, sounding hopeful. “Do you think that will work?”

“Let's try it,” Kurt suggests.

So they run inside where Mrs Anderson gives them a bucket of water and a few old rags, and they set everything up in the front yard and start cleaning.

About half an hour later, all the dust and dirt and cobwebs are gone, but the bike is still rusty in places and one wheel bent out of shape.

“Let's go find my dad,” Kurt suggests, and Blaine nods. They carry the bike together because they can't push it with one wheel all stuck, and it's too heavy for one of them to carry alone.

Kurt's dad is in the backyard, and he takes off his cap and scratches his head when the boys explain what they need his help with.

“Let me have a look at that thing,” he says, crouching down and examining the frame carefully. “Okay,” he announces eventually. “We'll need a new front wheel and a new chain. And we'll have to do something about the brakes. But other than that, I don't see a problem.”

“You mean you can fix it?” Blaine asks eagerly.

Burt nods. “You bet. It's going to be as good as new.”

“Yay,” Blaine says, and hugs Kurt enthusiastically because Kurt's closest to him. Kurt laughs and lets himself be hugged.

Burt helps them carry the bike back over and talks to Mrs Anderson for a few minutes. Kurt can't listen in because Blaine takes his hand and drags him off to the back yard to play pirates. But it doesn't matter what they're talking about anyway. Blaine is happy. And that makes Kurt happy. He decides that having a friend to make happy is the best thing in the world. He wishes Blaine could be living here all the time. His life would be awesome if Blaine lived here all the time.

**

It takes a few days for his dad to get all the necessary parts for the repairs, but when he does, he actually invites both Kurt and Blaine to help him. Kurt has helped his dad fix things before and already knows how to use a screwdriver. And his dad lets him be the one to teach Blaine, which makes Kurt feel immensely proud of himself. Especially when Blaine seems really impressed and very eager to learn. Kurt's dad always has to loosen the screws they're supposed to take out at first, but Kurt thinks that's okay, he and Blaine are only six after all. He doubts that his dad could do this all by himself when he was six.

It doesn't take long at all to disassemble the old bike completely, and Kurt fully expects that this is the point where his dad starts fixing things and putting them back together. Instead, he reaches into the bags he has put down on the porch and takes out sandpaper and two large cans with plastic tops.

“What's that?” Blaine asks eagerly.

Burt smiles like he has a great secret. “Do you want your new bike to look all pretty like Kurt's?” he asks.

“Yes?” Blaine says carefully, obviously afraid that this is some kind of a trap.

Burt nods and hands each of them a strip of sandpaper. “Then take off the old paint and we'll put on a new coat. I bought some spray paint for you. Do you like red? Your grandma said you liked it.”

“Red is my favorite,” Blaine says, eyes shining, and Kurt feels his heart jump a little in his chest at seeing Blaine so excited.

He sets to work immediately, because he really can't wait to find out what Blaine's new bike will look like.

**

Blaine's bike turns out to be very pretty. Two days later, they're riding up and down the street side by side and it's so much better than sharing the same one, because now they can race each other.

That weekend, Kurt's mom gets out her own bike and takes both of them to the park for a picnic. They have sandwiches and cookies and even a thermos full of home-made lemonade that Kurt helped make that morning.

Once they've eaten, they feed some leftover crumbs to the ducks down by the pond. Even though Blaine's aren't all left over, Kurt knows, because he has noticed him slipping bits of bread into his pockets all through their meal. But he doesn't say anything. He likes Blaine for wanting to share his food with the ducks.

On their way home, his mom even buys them ice cream. Kurt gets strawberry and Blaine gets chocolate mint, and they share, switching their cones back and forth, sitting on a small bench in front of the ice cream shop.

It's the best summer _ever_.

**

Kurt feels very sad the night they push Blaine's beautiful red bike into Mrs Anderson's garage for the last time that summer.

Blaine's dad arrived that afternoon, and the next morning, he's going to take Blaine home with him again because school is starting back up in a few days. Kurt _hates_ school.

“You could go to my school,” he suggests. “You can live with us even, if your grandma can't let you live with her all the time. My room is big enough”

Blaine shrugs and looks as sad as Kurt feels. “But I do miss my mom,” he confesses. “I have to go home to see my mom.”

“Maybe she can move in too,” Kurt says, feeling stubborn. He doesn't want to say goodbye to Blaine. He won't. It's _not fair_. Why does he have to have a friend he only ever gets to see during the holidays, when everyone else has friends who live in Lima? Sure, he still has Mercedes and sometimes Mike, but it's not the same. They all have other friends too. Blaine is _his_ friend. Blaine is his _best_ friend.

Blaine shakes his head. “But she doesn't have work here. And my dad doesn't have work here.”

Kurt thinks about it, not willing to give up on this idea just yet. He knows that Blaine's parents aren't going to move just because Kurt will miss his best friend all the time until he comes back. _If_ he comes back. “Are you going to come back at all?” he asks, and his throat feels too tight, like he's going to cry.

“Yes, of course,” Blaine says, eyes widening. “Of course I'm coming back! I already asked my grandma.”

“Swear it,” Kurt tells him, voice a little shaky. “Swear that you're going to come back.”

“I swear,” Blaine says solemnly, and then adds quietly, “I'll miss you.”

“I'll miss you too,” Kurt says, and then Mrs Anderson calls Blaine in for dinner.

Kurt doesn't say goodbye. He just waves at Blaine and walks back home across the street, leaving Blaine in his grandmother's front yard. He's never going to say goodbye. If he doesn't say it, Blaine will come back to him this winter.

 

**Winter**

Blaine does come back that winter.

Kurt is helping his dad shovel snow in the driveway when the Anderson's car pulls up across the street, and Kurt immediately drops his snow shovel, gasping excitedly and taking a few hurried steps forward, before he remembers that he's supposed to be helping his dad. He stops, looking up at him with big eyes. “Dad, it's Blaine,” he explains.

His dad laughs and claps his shoulder. “Go ahead, run on over, buddy. You did a great job here already, I can take care of the rest.”

“Thanks, dad,” Kurt calls, and runs across the street as quickly as his legs can carry him. He only almost slips a few times on the patches of ice covering the road. “Blaine,” he shouts. “Blaine, Blaine, Blaine!”

Blaine almost falls out of the car in his hurry to greet him. “Kurt,” he calls back. “See? I came back. I promised I would, and I did!”

Kurt just runs into him at almost full speed, throwing his arms around him with such force they stagger back against the side of the car. Blaine laughs and hugs him back just as hard.

Kurt feels a little embarrassed once they let go of each other and quickly takes a step back to shove his hands into his pockets. “I'm glad you came back,” he tells Blaine. “Your grandma told me you would. And yesterday, my mom and I made cookies, and we still have some left over. They're delicious. You can have some if you want.”

“I love cookies,” Blaine says, grinning, cheeks pink from the cold.

“I know you do,” Kurt says, grinning back.

Blaine is his best friend in the world. Of course he knows these things.

**

That winter, they build not one snowman, but several. It's been snowing a lot, and in Kurt's backyard alone there's enough snow for three snowmen at once. Kurt has to put on the heads, because he's really a lot taller than Blaine now. But Blaine doesn't seem to mind. He just runs off to get started on the next one right away.

They have hot chocolate at Mrs Anderson's afterwards and Kurt wriggles his cold toes in his slightly damp socks. “I think my feet are frozen,” he announces, sitting on Mrs Anderson's comfy old couch.

Blaine takes the throw from the backrest and holds it up. “We can share,” he suggests.

Kurt likes the idea. Hot chocolate and warm blankets are the best thing after a day out in the snow.


	3. Kurt is Seven Years Old

** Summer **

“Everything okay, buddy?” his dad asks, looking at Kurt across the breakfast table.

Kurt has been shifting in his chair all morning, ears straining to hear the sound of a car pulling up to the house across the street, even if he knows it's too early for that. It's a long drive from Columbus. “Yes,” he says. “Everything's okay, dad.”

“You seem a little nervous,” his mom says, and Kurt shakes his head.

“I'm not nervous, I'm excited,” he explains. “Mrs Anderson said that Blaine is coming today!”

Kurt watches as his mom and dad share a weird look across the table. “Kurt, sweetheart?” his mom says. “Did you make any plans with your other friends for the summer? Don't you maybe want to invite Mike over some day? Or Mercedes?”

Kurt feels confused. He likes Mike and Mercedes, but over the next few weeks he really won't have time for them. “But Blaine is coming,” he says.

“We just think you should still see your other friends too, don't you think they'll miss you if they don't get to see you all summer?” Burt asks.

Kurt thinks about it. “No, I think they'll be fine,” he answers honestly. “Mike is always over at Artie's anyway, ever since Artie got his wheelchair. Mike likes pushing him. And Mercedes has secrets with Tina all the time. I hate Tina,” he complains. It kind of hurts when they talk with their heads close together and just laugh and smile mysteriously when he wants to know what's going on.

“You don't hate Tina,” his mom reminds him.

Kurt slumps back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Fine, I don't. But she hates _me_.”

“I don't think you really hate each other,” his dad points out. “And anyway, you don't need to see her, if you don't want to. We just thought that you -”

“You don't like Blaine,” Kurt accuses his parents, feeling angry all of a sudden. This is all _so unfair_. His best friend is arriving today and his parents are telling him he has to go and see his other friends instead?

“We love Blaine, honey,” his mom assures him. “And we want you to be friends with Blaine. We are just worried that you're neglecting your other friends over the summer.”

Kurt shrugs. “I want to see _Blaine_. And he doesn't know Mike or Rachel or Mercedes or Sam. I don't want him to feel left out.”

His mom ruffles his hair and Kurt squirms away from her, batting her hand away. “ _Mom_!”

She just laughs at him. “We were thinking you might want to have a summer party? Maybe next week? You can invite all of your friends, including Blaine, and they can get to know each other. What do you think?”

Kurt's face lights up. They could have just told him this in the first place! “A party?” he asks. “I get to have a party?”

His dad smiles at him. “You were sick in May and didn't get to have a birthday party. So we thought you could have a summer party instead now.”

Kurt beams. “That is the best idea ever,” he says happily.

**

He busies himself making party invitations with his mom after breakfast, and his dad has promised to drive him around to his friends' houses tonight so that he can deliver them personally. He finishes Blaine's first because he'll see him very soon, and he wants to invite him right away to make sure he doesn't make other plans before Kurt can ask him. Not that Blaine has very many other things to do other than hanging out with Kurt while he's here. But that doesn't stop Kurt from wanting to make absolutely sure that he can make it.

His dad is supposed to be outside fixing the porch railing, so Kurt looks up curiously when he suddenly pokes his head in the living room where Kurt and his mom have completely buried the coffee table under tons of glitter and construction paper.

“Hey buddy?”

“What?”

His dad smiles. “A car just pulled up to the Anderson house! Just thought you'd want to know!”

“Thanks dad,” Kurt yells, grabbing Blaine's invitation and jumping up, racing for the front door, grinning. His parents do understand how important Blaine is, after all. It would have really sucked if they didn't.

Kurt runs across the street, and Blaine is already there, helping his dad to pull some bags from the trunk of the car.

“Blaine!” Kurt yells.

And Blaine turns around and smiles so widely and jumps up and down as he waves at Kurt. “Kurt! Finally! I thought you had forgotten about me!”

“I was inside,” Kurt explains, stopping just in front of Blaine, panting a little. “I was finishing this!” He holds the invitation out to Blaine, and Blaine's eyes widen in delight as he scans it quickly.

“A party?” he asks excitedly. “And I'm invited?”

“Of course I'm inviting my best friend, silly,” Kurt tells him, rolling his eyes. “Can you come?”

Blaine nods emphatically. “Of course! This is going to be so much fun! Cooper had a party last week, but I wasn't invited. But yours is probably better anyway!”

“You can meet all of my other friends there,” Kurt says, a little hesitantly. He hopes Blaine won't mind that he will be forced to hang out with other people at least for the day.

Bur Blaine seems happy with it. “I'd love to meet all of your friends,” he tells Kurt.

“Good.” Kurt smiles at him. “I have to go back home and finish the rest of the invitations. But you should come over when you've said hi to your grandma.”

“I will,” Blaine says, still grinning widely, and then, “I really missed you, Kurt!”

Kurt lowers his eyes, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “I missed you too, Blaine,” he admits, and then, with another little wave, he's running back across the street to his own house.

**

Kurt has thought long and hard about who to invite, because while he's good friends with Mike, Artie, Mercedes and Tina, he also gets along most of the time with Rachel, Sam and Finn. And lately he has been hanging out a lot with Sugar during recess, so he added her to the list too. In the end, he decided to even give Puck an invitation, because he's Finn's best friend and he doesn't want him to feel lonely at the party.

He is a little surprised when all of them actually do show up the next Wednesday. It makes his tiny backyard look rather crowded, but it also makes him very happy. As it turns out, he really does have other friends even when Blaine is not here. And sometimes it's nice to be reminded of that.

He's very careful to keep Blaine by his side and introduce him to everyone, because he wants Blaine to be comfortable in between so many new people who all know each other. But Blaine seems happy enough, talking to everyone and making friends with all of Kurt's friends in a matter of minutes. Everyone seems to like Blaine, even Puck.

Kurt still keeps a close eye on him, just in case. He wants everyone to get along, and is very relieved to see that apparently that won't be a problem.

When they decorate their own cupcakes Blaine ends up helping Puck spell out his name in colored sprinkles. And during the scavenger hunt, he doesn't move from Tina's side for even a second, the two of them giggling together and whispering in each other's ears. Kurt is very happy to see Blaine having fun at his party.

He goes inside for just a minute to help his mom get some more bags of chips for everyone, and when he comes back, he can't find Blaine at first. Until he sees him sitting under the cherry tree with Sam and Tina, laughing loudly while Sam is talking and waving his hands through the air.

Smiling, Kurt makes his way over to them, dropping onto the grass next to Tina. “What are you guys talking about?” he wants to know.

Blaine beams at him. “Sam was telling us jokes,” he explains. “He knows the best jokes!”

Kurt nods, because, well, it's true. He's about to say something, but Blaine is already talking to Sam again and Tina is sort of clinging to Blaine's arm, and Kurt feels a little out of place all of a sudden.

He tries a few times to contribute to the conversation, but Blaine's eyes are glued to Sam, and Tina and Sam only have eyes for Blaine, and mostly everyone just ignores him. He feels his mood sinking quickly, and eventually just gets up and walks away without a word. This is the same thing that happens at school sometimes; people are just talking and not even really noticing when he tries to be a part of it. He just hadn't thought it would be happening today.

But then Mike pushes Artie over to where Kurt is quietly sulking and they're both smiling at him, and Artie offers the bag of chips he has on his lap. Kurt takes a handful and shoves them into his mouth.

“We just needed to get away from Puck and Finn for a bit,” Mike explains, and Kurt looks over to where those two are shooting at each other with water pistols, yelling and screaming and already completely soaked through.

“Sitting in the chair in wet clothes is sort of really uncomfortable,” Artie explains.

Kurt just nods, still chewing his mouthful of chips.

Artie reaches for the small bag hanging off the side of his chair and produces a deck of cards. “Wanna play?” he asks.

And Kurt laughs, nodding again. Artie always carries playing cards around with him now since he can't do much else during recess anymore. Kurt has been working hard for the past few months to get good enough to beat him at Snap, but Artie is really amazing at it. “Yes. I do.”

“Oh, yeah, great,” Mike agrees, and Kurt thinks about how to do this best. They can't sit on the ground with Artie in his wheelchair.

“I'll be right back,” he tells them, and runs to find his dad, because they'll need the folding table and some chairs from the shed.

He plays cards with Mike and Artie for a long time, and eventually they're joined by Mercedes and Sugar and Rachel who seem tired of evading Puck and Finn's ongoing water fight in the other corner of the backyard.

Blaine, Sam and Tina keep hanging out together for most of the afternoon, but Kurt soon forgets about feeling abandoned by his best friend. Instead, he decides to be glad that everyone is having fun.

Eventually, when their game is breaking up with Mercedes walking off with Rachel, and Mike and Artie getting into a heated discussion about some cartoon Kurt has never heard of with Finn who has finally found their way over to them, Kurt does get up too to see how Blaine is doing.

Blaine is now trying to climb the cherry tree, glaring up at the much taller Puck who is already sitting on a branch a little way up smirking down at him. “It's not fair, I can't even reach that high,” Blaine complains, and Kurt laughs.

“Want me to give you a boost?”

Blaine turns around, face lighting up as he sees him. “Kurt! Yes, please!”

Kurt leans his back against the trunk, folding his hands so Blaine can use them as a ladder. It takes them a few tries, but eventually Blaine manages to pull himself up onto the lowest branch. Kurt waits for him to get out of the way before jumping as high as he can, grabbing the branch and climbing after Blaine.

Later they team up for the three-legged race and win even against Finn and Puck.

And, Kurt thinks, this has turned out to be a pretty good day after all.

**

Blaine hangs around for a bit once everyone else leaves and helps Kurt and his mom clean up the garden.

But they're both really tired after their exciting afternoon, and Blaine heads home soon with the promise to come over as early as he can the next day.

**

As early as he can turns out to be just after Kurt has finished his breakfast, and they both get their bikes out and, with permission from Kurt's dad and Blaine's grandma, take them all the way to the park past the ice cream shop. Kurt regrets not bringing any of his pocket money, because it's a hot day and he thinks he might have liked some ice cream on the way back. But then, he thinks, they probably still have some in the freezer and he knows they still have chocolate sprinkles left over from the day before, so he and Blaine can eat ice cream in the privacy of Kurt's kitchen once they're back home, which is not a bad plan either.

They let their bikes fall on the grass in the shadow of a tall maple tree and stretch out on their backs side by side.

“So, did you have fun yesterday?” Kurt wants to know.

Blaine laughs. “Yes! Oh my god. It was great! Sam is great!”

“He is,” Kurt agrees. “If you want to, we can hang out with him again while you're here.” He really prefers spending time with Blaine alone, but most of all, he wants him to be happy. He turns his head to look at him, waiting for Blaine's reaction.

Blaine just shrugs. “We can,” he says. “I'd like that. And maybe Tina too? But not all the time,” he adds quickly. “I already have so many ideas for what I want to do when I'm here and I have no idea if they'd be into any of that.”

Kurt smiles. “Okay,” he agrees, and closes his eyes for a second, surrounded by the scent of summer and grass and the sound of his best friend humming under his breath just a few feet away.

 

** Winter **

That winter, it is almost a week after Christmas before Blaine arrives. Kurt has been talking to Mrs Anderson, and she had explained to him that with the extreme cold, the roads had just been too bad for Blaine's dad to make the journey. Kurt has almost given up hope by the time he finally sees the familiar car parked in the driveway across the street.

He instantly feels a little bit better. This winter so far hasn't been very good – his mom has been spending a lot of time in bed or seeing doctors lately and Kurt himself has had a cold for more than a week now – it's not a bad one, just bad enough to make him feel completely miserable.

He is still contemplating whether he wants to put his shoes and jacket on and walk all the way across the street right now, because really, he could just as well call Mrs Anderson's house and ask if Blaine wants to come over, when the door across the street opens.

Kurt watches from the kitchen window as Blaine, bundled up in a thick jacket and a scarf and a hat that has both ear flaps and a ridiculous pom pom on top, emerges from the house. He jumps down the steps of his grandma's front porch, skidding a little on a patch of ice, and then runs across the street to Kurt's house.

Kurt shuffles his way to the front door, opening it just as Blaine bounces up the steps to the porch.

“Hi Blaine,” he says, voice sounding a little weird because his head feels so stuffy.

“Hi Kurt,” Blaine calls out excitedly, waving his gloved hand at him before he slips again and catches himself on the railing at the last moment. “Oops, okay, no, I'm good.” He exhales, then beams at Kurt. “I'm back.”

“I have a cold,” Kurt says miserably. “I've had it for days. And it won't go away and I hate it!”

Blaine bites his lip, thinking for a second. “Actually, my grandma said to invite you over for hot chocolate. Do you think that will help?”

Kurt shakes his head sadly. “My mom says I'm only supposed to drink tea,” he says weakly. “She says milk isn't good when you're all stuffy from a cold.”

“Oh man, that's too bad,” Blaine says. “No hot chocolate in winter?”

Kurt sighs. “I know.”

“Do you maybe want to stay here if you're not feeling well, then?” Blaine asks, and Kurt feels his face fall. He'd really been looking forward to seeing Blaine, but he supposes he really isn't much fun right now to hang out with, so if Blaine doesn't want to, that's okay.

“Okay,” he says. “I guess. Whatever.”

“Okay,” Blaine confirms, and turns around, raising onto his toes and waving his arms at the house across the street. The front door cracks open and Mrs Anderson pokes her head outside. “ _Grandma_!” Blaine yells at the top of his lungs. “ _I'm staying at Kurt's, okay_?”

Mrs Anderson nods and waves back at them, closing the door again.

Kurt feels better as Blaine turns around to grin at him, asking, “So, what do you want to do now?”

Kurt holds the door open a little wider so Blaine can walk past him and toe off his shoes by the stairs. He doesn't know why he keeps worrying that Blaine doesn't want to hang out with him. They are _best friends_ , after all.

**

Kurt feels significantly better the next day, and gets the permission from his parents to actually spend New Year's Eve with Blaine and even to sleep over there after they've talked to Mrs Anderson and got her okay.

They spend their afternoon setting up a blanket fort in the living room. Mrs Anderson has so many chairs and so many blankets, they build the most majestic blanket fort in the world and then curl up inside it, lying on their sides facing each other and talking in whispers because that just seems to be what you do in a blanket fort.

Kurt has never really built one before, but he's very glad that he let Blaine talk him into it.

After about ten minutes, Blaine's grandma sticks her head inside. “Can I interest you boys in some hot chocolate with marshmallows?” she asks.

And Kurt, who is feeling so much better today and hasn't had any hot chocolate all winter so far, nods enthusiastically.

They are even allowed to take their mugs into their fort where they sit cross-legged on some cushions and feel warm and secure.

In the evening, they have meat loaf for dinner and apple pie with vanilla ice cream for dessert, and then they watch TV with Blaine's grandma.

“Hey grandma?” Blaine asks as it's getting late and Kurt's eyes keep drifting shut.

“Yes?”

“Can we sleep in the blanket fort?”

Kurt's head snaps up and suddenly he's wide awake. Blaine is a genius!

Mrs Anderson tilts her head, thinking about it. “I suppose so,” she says. “Do you want the air mattress or are those cushions enough for you?”

“They're fine, we don't need the air mattress,” Kurt quickly assures her, not wanting her to go to too much trouble for them.

“Okay,” she says, and they all go back to watching TV and eating cookies.

Kurt and Blaine brush their teeth side by side at the sink in the downstairs bathroom, both in their pajamas and exhausted after a long day.

They slip into their blanket fort side by side, wrapping themselves in the extra blankets Blaine's grandma had given them.

“This was a great idea,” Kurt says, feeling warm and comfortable and safe, and so happy that he's here right next to his very best friend in the world. “I've never had a sleepover before and now my first one is extra special. I like it.”

“I'm glad it's special,” Blaine says. “I haven't been on a sleepover yet either. But this is really cool.”

“It is,” Kurt agrees, and then his eyes close and he quickly drifts off to sleep.


	4. Kurt is Eight Years Old

**Summer**

That year, Kurt doesn't even realize Blaine has arrived until he rings his doorbell one morning. Kurt has to open the door because his dad is at work and his mom is still in bed – she doesn't get up anymore most of these days. She's been sick for weeks now, and Kurt is so worried. He knows she's been sick for a while, but sick people always get better. Always. Except that when he'd asked his dad when mom was going to be better his dad had just hugged him and gone very quiet, and Kurt had felt a kind of dread settle low in his stomach that hasn't left yet. Sick people always get better eventually, don't they … ?

He almost forgets all about his worries when he opens the door and Blaine is on the other side of it. “Hi Kurt,” he greets, even waves at him despite the fact that they're standing right in front of each other.

“Hi Blaine,” Kurt says. “I didn't know you were back already.”

“I got here two days ago,” Blaine says, almost sounding a bit hurt that Kurt didn't know. “Do you want to come out and play?”

Kurt hesitates. He doesn't like leaving his mom alone. “I don't know,” he says.

Blaine's face falls. “But it's really nice outside. And I got the old bike out of the garage.”

“I … have to ask my mom,” Kurt says. “Can you wait just a minute?”

“Sure,” Blaine says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his shorts and grinning. “Hurry up, then.”

Kurt nods and climbs the stairs as quickly as he can. He really wants to play with Blaine, but what if his mom needs anything? He opens the door to his parents' bedroom carefully, peeking inside. “Mom?”

She's sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in her favorite robe, and carefully pulling on a pair of fluffy socks. “Hey, buddy,” she says, and smiles at him. “Everything okay?”

“Blaine is here,” he says. He's glad that his mom is awake and getting up, but why is she always moving so slowly these days? He's not sure he wants to go out if his mom is actually awake and leaving the bed. He kind of wants to spend time with her. They never get to spend any real time together anymore.

“Oh, that's nice,” his mom says. “Did you want to go out and play with him?”

Kurt swallows and shakes his head. “No,” he confesses. “I – can Blaine stay here? We'll be very quiet, I promise.”

His mom laughs and opens her arms for him where she's sitting on the edge of the bed. Kurt stumbles forward and lets her pull him into a tight hug. “You never have to be quiet because of me, you know that, sweetheart.”

“But you need your sleep,” he mumbles into her robe.

“I'm awake now, aren't I?” she says, kissing the top of his head. “Of course Blaine can stay here.”

“Thanks, mom,” he says, and he feels better.

“You're such a good boy,” his mom says, and hugs him tighter for a moment. “My little Kurt.” She lets go to put her hands on his shoulders, holding him in front of her so that she can see his face. “I love you very, very much, you know that?”

He smiles. “I know. I love you too, mom.”

She ruffles his hair and pats his shoulder. “Go play with Blaine,” she says. “I'll be downstairs in a minute.”

**

When Blaine comes over the next day, he looks … worried.

“What's wrong?” Kurt asks. He doesn't like it when Blaine is upset.

Blaine looks a bit embarrassed, then shrugs. “How's your mom?” he asks. “My grandma said -”

“Oh.” Kurt looks away. He doesn't like to talk about it. Because she'll get better. “She's going to get better. I know she will.”

Blaine nods, looking at him intently. “What do you want to do today?”

Kurt smiles at him. He doesn't really care what they do. As long as they do it together. He doesn't worry as much about his mom when Blaine is with him.

**

That night is bad. It's really, really bad. Kurt wakes up from his dad talking on the phone in the next room, and he tiptoes over, bare feet quiet on the carpeted floor. The door to his parents' bedroom is ajar and he can see his mom curled up on the bed, looking very pale and with her eyes tightly closed, mouth a thin line like she's in pain.

“ … I don't know,” his dad says into the phone, pacing the small space between the bed and the dresser. “About an hour maybe? And she just … I don't know how – Okay. Okay. Yes. Thank you. Thank you!” He hangs up, lowering his head, pressing the fist that's still clutching the phone to his forehead.

Kurt pushes the door open a little more, and he doesn't know where to look, his mom looks so sick, and his dad is just so _quiet_ now, and … “Dad?” he asks, voice small and scared, and he has this weird fluttery feeling in his chest, like fear, only worse.

His dad looks over at him, smile a little wobbly. “Hey, kiddo. Why aren't you asleep?”

Kurt swallows. “I could hear you talking – What – Is she -”

His dad crosses the room in a few quick strides and crouches down in front of him, putting a big, warm hand on his shoulder. “It's going to be alright, buddy,” he says. “She's just feeling a bit sick. The doctor said not to worry, okay? He told me what she needs to make her feel better. We just have to be very brave right now. For her. Can you do that?”

Kurt nods, and he can't find any words. “Dad -” he says, and his dad picks him up, hugging him to his chest, and carries him over to sit down on the edge of the bed. Kurt hides his face against his father's chest and shuts his eyes tightly. He doesn't like seeing his mom so pale and sick.

But his dad said it was going to be fine, his dad said it was going to be fine, his dad said it was going to be fine...

**

He's very, very tired the next morning when Blaine comes over. His mom had been in pain for a long time, even after his dad had given her something to make her feel better. He had looked so worried and Kurt hadn't known what to do. But afterwards, when his mom hadn't looked so in pain anymore, his dad had taken him downstairs and made him some warm milk and talked to him.

He had said that his mom was fine for now, but that she might have to go to the hospital if things didn't get better. Kurt doesn't want his mom to go the hospital. He wants her home where he can check on her and be hugged by her and bring her the pictures he drew for her so she has something to put on her nightstand and look at when she's not asleep. Also, he knows what happens in hospitals. Sometimes, they make people better. But when Mike's grandpa went to the hospital, he died. Sometimes people go to the hospital to die there. But not his mom. Dying is for old people. And his mom isn't old, and also, Kurt needs her, he can't even imagine not having a mom.

So when he opens the door for Blaine that day, he's not in the mood for playing. “I'm really tired,” he says.

Blaine looks so worried. “I'm sorry,” he says, and Kurt shrugs.

“My mom might have to go to the hospital,” he blurts out, and then he starts crying. He hasn't cried at all since last night, even though he's been so, so scared.

For a while, as he's crying, nothing happens, but then he can feel someone rubbing his back, and he squints through the tears to find Blaine standing quite close, his own eyes wet with tears. Feeling Blaine comforting him just makes him cry harder.

“Do you want a hug?” Blaine asks. “Hugs always make me feel better.”

Kurt lets out a loud sob and then manages a shaky nod, because yes, hugs always make him feel better too.

And Blaine hugs him, for a long time, right there at the front door, rubbing his back soothingly while Kurt's tears soak into his shirt.

**

For the next few days, they mostly spend time at Kurt's house, because Kurt is too worried to leave his mom for long. She is doing a lot better and keeps hugging him and telling him to go outside and play because she doesn't want him to miss the entire summer. But he just can't. He doesn't understand what's happening and he's too worried about something … _happening_ … when he's not there.

Only then Blaine shows up at his door and insists they go outside, grinning like he has an awesome secret, and Kurt's dad is actually home, and Kurt really does feel the need to move a little. And it's a _really_ beautiful day.

So he lets Blaine take his hand and drag him outside, and there's Mrs Anderson waiting by the fence, carrying a purse and blinking at him through the huge glasses she's wearing, and Kurt waves at her because he hasn't even been over to see her this summer yet. He feels a little bad about that, she's always so nice to him.

“It's so good to see you, my boy,” she says, and ruffles his hair affectionately.

He smiles up at her.

Blaine doesn't let go of his hand as they're walking down the street, almost pulling him along behind. He seems to be in a hurry, and Kurt can't help but wonder what's going on with him. Mrs Anderson follows them as they make their way around the corner.

The ice cream shop is just a few blocks away, and Kurt's eyes light up as he realizes where they're going. He really does love ice cream, it's one of the best things about summer, and he's been too upset so far to even think about it.

Blaine stops in front of it, turning around to smile at him brightly. “Surprise!” he calls, looking at Kurt expectantly.

“We're having ice cream?” Kurt asks.

Blaine nods. “I'm buying you all the ice cream you want today,” he announces. “I've saved all my pocket money this summer, you can pick whatever you want.”

Kurt feels his face break into a smile. “Really?”

“I want you to have something nice,” Blaine explains. “You've been so sad. And I know how much you like ice cream.”

Kurt nods and squeezes Blaine's hand. “You're my _best_ friend,” is all he can think of to say, and Blaine laughs and leads him into the ice cream shop.

 

**Winter**

Kurt knows that Blaine knows as soon as he opens the door for him. Of course Blaine knows. His grandma must have told him. She has been over almost every day for the past two months, bringing them food or straightening things around the house, or even just sitting with Kurt when he was watching TV in the living room, just so that he didn't have to be alone when his dad was at work. Because his dad went back to work soon after. He had to. Even though Kurt knows that he isn't sleeping a lot. He can hear him crying in parents' bedroom when he himself is lying awake feeling too sad for tears even.

“Hi Kurt,” Blaine says, and there's a frown on his face, his voice more quiet than it usually is. He still does the wave, though, a small, insecure gesture.

Kurt smiles at him. “Hi Blaine.”

“I'm here all winter,” Blaine says. “I didn't know if you wanted to hang out or -”

Kurt thinks about it – he hasn't really hung out with Mercedes or Tina or Mike ever since … ever since _that day_. “Can we go over to yours?” He asks. Suddenly, the idea of getting out of this house where his mom isn't anymore, where his mom will never be again, seems very tempting.

“Sure,” Blaine says, and they walk across the street side by side.

**

They hang out a lot at Blaine's that winter. Mrs Anderson makes them hot chocolate and hugs him a lot, and even Blaine hugs him more than he usually does. Blaine is a hugger. Blaine hugs people all the time, when he's really happy about something, or when something on TV is scaring him, or just sometimes for no reason at all. This winter, most of the hugs seem to be for no reason at all, but Kurt is grateful for them anyway.

He's also grateful that he can be away from home for a bit, even though he always runs back home the minute he sees his dad come home from work, walking slower than he had … before. He needs to spend time with his dad. He can't be away from him all the time too.

And Blaine never says anything about Kurt cutting their days together short. Blaine never says anything when they're talking or playing together and Kurt suddenly just goes quiet, becomes absent, because his thoughts are just elsewhere, trapped in the sad little part of his brain that still overwhelms him sometimes.

It's about a week after Blaine arrived, and Kurt is looking out of Blaine's bedroom window. He can see his house from there, and he realizes that no one will water the flowers in the front yard next summer. They're all buried under layers of snow right now anyway, but what about next year?

“Kurt?” Blaine asks, looking up at him, worried. “Are you okay?”

Kurt nods without turning around. He actually is, a lot of the time now. But then when he starts getting sad again, it's almost worse because he remembers that he'd been fine and that his mom is still gone. And he wants to tell her about the great day he's had, but he can't, and what is a great day even good for if he can't tell his mom about it? She always liked hearing about his days. It's not fair that she'll never get to know about the rest of them now.

He sees his dad walking up the street right at that moment, and quickly turns around. “I have to go home,” he says quickly.

Blaine scrambles up off the floor in a hurry. “Is your dad coming home?”

“Yes,” Kurt says. “I'm sorry, but I -”

“No, it's fine,” Blaine says. “I'll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Right,” Kurt says, and picks up the scarf he'd dropped on Blaine's chair.

“You're still sad, aren't you?” Blaine asks quietly, and Kurt looks at him. He can't really say anything. He doesn't know how to talk about this.

“It's okay,” Blaine says. “I know. I don't even know how I'd feel if it was my mom -”

Kurt feels the tears gather in the corner of his eyes and quickly blinks them away, but Blaine takes a hasty step forward. “No, don't cry,” he pleads. “I didn't want to make you cry!”

“I'm sorry,” Kurt says.

Blaine rushes over to the bed, plucking Walter the Penguin, the stuffed animal he's had since he was a baby, off the pillow. “Here,” he says, holding the toy out to Kurt.

Kurt just looks at him and doesn't understand. “That's Walter,” he says.

Blaine nods. “I want you to have him.”

Kurt gasps. “Blaine -”

“I always tell him stuff when I'm sad,” Blaine says, “And it really helps. But you're so much sadder than me right now. So I want Walter to be with you. Maybe he'll help you too!”

Kurt shakes his head. “But he's your favorite!”

Blaine grins at him. “No,” he answers. “You are my favorite. My favorite friend. And I don't want you to be so sad all the time.”

This time, Kurt is the one who hugs first. Blaine is still shorter than him and he catches him around the shoulders, squeezing him tight for a moment. “You're my best friend,” he mumbles against his shoulder, and Blaine hugs him back, then shoves Walter into his arms as soon as Kurt lets go.

“I'll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I'll bring Walter back tomorrow,” Kurt promises.

“No,” Blaine says. “I want you to keep him until you're not sad anymore.”

Kurt walks back home smiling and clutching the little stuffed penguin to his chest as tightly as he can.


	5. Kurt is Nine Years Old

** Summer **

Mrs Anderson had told him which day Blaine would be arriving this summer, so Kurt hangs out in his own front yard, watching the house across the street all morning.

It's almost lunch time by the time a car pulls up in front of it, and Kurt is across the street before the car is even parked. He grins as the door opens and Blaine almost falls out of the car in his hurry to get out.

“Blaine,” he calls out, happily. He's been waiting so long. Now the summer can actually begin.

“Kurt,” Blaine replies happily, bouncing over the few steps to where he's standing, even waving excitedly the way he does every time they see each other again.

Kurt can't stop smiling, even when Blaine is distracted saying hello to his grandma who's come out of the house the minute she heard the car.

**

There is an old tool shed in Blaine's grandma's backyard. This summer, they open it and have a look around inside.

There are hardly any garden tools in there, mostly it's disused furniture. A scratched coffee table, an old dresser, a variety of kitchen chairs with cracked legs, an old rug rolled up and propped against the wall in a corner.

Kurt knows exactly what he wants to do this summer, he can already see it clearly in his head, the way everything is going to look once they're done here.

**

Mrs Anderson has no problem with them playing in the old tool shed. “I haven't really used it for years anyway,” she tells them. “I kind of even forgot what I put in there.”

So Kurt and Blaine set to work, Blaine mostly following Kurt's direction. Kurt has _very_ clear ideas about what he wants everything to be like.

They start by dragging everything except the dresser (it's far too heavy) out into the backyard so that they can sweep the floor inside and remove the cobwebs from the corners. Then they carry the rug back inside and unroll it in the middle of the now clean floor. It's worn-out and faded brown, but it still makes the small space seem a lot more comfortable immediately.

Blaine runs inside then to get some water with which they clean off the coffee table and the only two chairs that are still stable enough to sit on, and they place all of it back inside the tool shed too. The chairs are, of course, too tall for the table, so they push them back against the wall next to the dresser and Kurt runs home because he knows there are still some old sofa cushions in the attic that they never got around to throwing out. His dad, not at work on a Saturday, helps him to get them, and he lugs them across the street and back into Mrs Anderson's backyard, where Blaine has been busy in his absence nailing the old picture frame to the wall. There's no picture inside it, yet, but Kurt thinks they'll find something eventually.

With Blaine's help, he arranges the cushions around the coffee table, then they both take a step back to admire their handiwork.

Blaine's hand finds his as they stand side by side looking at their new house, and Kurt smiles. “It looks nice.”

“We should eat out here today,” Blaine suggests.

“Yes, like a housewarming party.” Kurt knows about housewarming parties because his aunt moved into a new house a few weeks ago and he and his dad had to go and give her a bottle of wine and a cake. Except that Kurt had made her a new key chain instead because food is a lame gift. He thinks about inviting other people to their housewarming, but he thinks he'd prefer it to be just him and Blaine.

Kurt runs back home then to ask his dad if he can have dinner at Blaine's and explains about the house. When his dad has no problem with eating alone tonight, Kurt makes some sandwiches in his kitchen to take over to Blaine's.

By the time he's back, Blaine is just carrying a bag of potato chips and a pitcher of lemonade out of the back door. Kurt puts his box of sandwiches down next to it on the table, and it actually does look like a nice meal.

They head back into the big house together to get cups and some cookies for dessert. Mrs Anderson always has cookies for them.

Blaine stops and thinks for a minute in the kitchen, hands on his hips and head tilted, obviously thinking hard. “Grandma?” he asks. “Can I have an extra glass?”

“What for, sweetie?” she wants to know, but Blaine just tugs at her sleeve until she bends down a little so he can whisper in her ear, quite loudly enough for Kurt to hear, “It's a surprise. For Kurt!”

“Oh, alright, in that case, here you go,” Mrs Anderson says, and gets a glass out of the cupboard that's too high up for Kurt or Blaine to reach. Blaine fills it half with water and makes a secretive face the whole time.

Back in their own new little house, Blaine makes Kurt sit on the cushions in front of the table, facing away from the door. “I'll only be a minute,” he says, “Don't look!”

And Kurt sits and waits, hands twisting nervously in his lap because he's not sure he likes surprises very much. And Blaine takes forever, good thing they don't have hot food tonight or it would go cold, seriously, where _is_ Blaine...

But then Blaine is back, and the water glass is full of flowers from Mrs Anderson's flower beds. He recognizes none of them, he was never very good with flowers, but they come in all colors and they're pretty and they smell nice.

“Surprise,” Blaine says, and looks so happy. “Do you like them?”

Kurt stares, eyes wide. Yes, he does like them. He loves flowers. But... “Aren't flowers for girls?” he asks.

Blaine seems unfazed by Kurt's initial lack of enthusiasm. “Why would they be for girls?” he asks. “They're for you! My grandma always puts fresh flowers in my room, they smell amazing.”

Kurt thinks about it. And then he thinks about it some more. And then his face breaks into a smile, because no one has ever given him flowers before. “They're beautiful,” he says. “I love them!”

Blaine smiles back, very proud of himself, and puts the makeshift vase down onto the table between them. “Good,” he says. “Can we eat now? I'm _starving_!”

Kurt laughs and hands him the box with the sandwiches.

 

** Winter **

He is building a snowman by himself because it's already five days after Christmas and Blaine still hasn't shown up. He feels a little sad about it, but soon resigns himself to the fact that he'll have to spend this winter Blaine-less. It's not a very nice thought, but he tries not to let things he can't change ruin his mood. Kurt loves winter.

He's just about to put the head on the snowman when Mrs Anderson's car pulls into the driveway across the street. Kurt stands, hands holding up the snowman's head above the body, and holding his breath, because...

Blaine jumps out of the car, looking across the street immediately. “Kurt,” he calls. “Kurt!” And he jumps up and down and waves, and Kurt smashes the head onto his snowman in a hurry – he doesn't want to just drop it and break it, okay, it's a perfectly round head, but he'll worry about the face later, no time now – and runs over to where Blaine is still waving wildly.

“Blaine,” he calls back. “You're late this year!”

“Sorry about that,” Blaine says. “I had the flu over Christmas. But I'm better now.”

“I'm sorry you were sick,” Kurt says, but he can't stop smiling. This isn't going to be a boring winter after all.

**

He goes over to Blaine's as soon as he has finishes his breakfast the next morning and, upon entering the garden, is greeted with a snowball to the face.

He's shocked for a moment, wiping off his face and looking around, until he finds Blaine almost doubled over with laughter, arms pressed to his stomach.

So he bends down quickly, scoops up a handful of snow and mashes it together. Blaine stops laughing when Kurt's snowball hits him in the shoulder and looks up at him instead. “Hey!”

“You started it,” Kurt says, grinning, then ducks Blaine's counterattack.

A few minutes later, they're chasing each other around the garden, Blaine with snow in his hair since he lost his hat when Kurt tackled him into a snow bank, and Kurt with his fingers getting cold since his mittens are soaked through by now.

They only stop when Blaine complains that he can't feel his face anymore, and Mrs Anderson shakes her head and makes them take off their jackets and shoes and scarves before they come anywhere near her carpet.

But then she makes them hot chocolate while Kurt and Blaine share a blanket on the couch to get warm. And Kurt thinks about how he'd never share a blanket with Mike or Artie like this. Because he thinks it would be weird. But it isn't weird with Blaine. He shrugs the thought away and decides to talk Blaine into watching _Groundhog Day_. A movie and hot chocolate are the best things after a morning out in the cold.


	6. Kurt is Ten Years Old

** Summer **

Just before school ends that year, Mrs Anderson gets a puppy.

Kurt is walking home from school, passing her house, when he sees her coming out of the door, a tiny little Beagle puppy straining against the leash, sniffing the corner of the front stairs. Kurt stops by the open gate of the fence, staring wide-eyed, face breaking into a delighted grin as the puppy hops down the stairs and lets out an excited bark when it sees Kurt standing there.

“Hello Kurt,” Mrs Anderson says, but Kurt has no time for a reply, just drops his bag against the fence, falling to his knees on the dirty gravel path and holding out his hands for the puppy who's waddling his way up to him to lick his fingers.

“Hi,” Kurt says, more to the tiny dog than to Mrs Anderson. “Oh my god, aren't you just the _cutest thing ever_ -”

“That's Alfie,” Mrs Anderson tells him. “My friend Meg's dog had puppies this summer, and I've always wanted a dog. And I think Blaine will like him when he comes to visit, don't you think?”

“Hmm?” Kurt is busy rubbing Alfie's ears, laughing when he squirms away to press his cold puppy nose into Kurt's palm. “Oh, yes, he's going to love him. Who wouldn't love you?” he says to the puppy. “Oh god, don't do that, that _tickles_ -”

“I was just going to go for a little walk with him,” Mrs Anderson says. “Do you want to come with us?”

Kurt looks up at her, nodding enthusiastically. “I'd love to. Can you wait just a minute so I can leave a note for my dad?”

“Sure,” she agrees, and he runs back home quickly to drop off his things, then joins Mrs Anderson for a walk. Her getting a dog is almost as good as him getting one himself, he'll get to walk it and play with it all summer as soon as Blaine arrives.

**

Which happens just five days later, and Kurt is already in Mrs Anderson's backyard, trying to get Alfie to catch a Frisbee. But Alfie seems a lot more interested in chasing his own tail.

When the car pulls up, however, Alfie barks and runs around the house, eager to see who's there. Kurt follows him at a slightly more dignified pace.

It's Blaine. Of course it's Blaine.

Kurt feels his face break into a wide smile, expecting the usual wave and grin and calling of his name. Blaine opens his door and almost falls out of the car like every time, and he's grinning so brightly when his eyes meet Kurt's. But then he's distracted by a tiny bark, and suddenly his face takes on a whole different shade of excited and he just sits down right where he is in the middle of the driveway, grabbing Alfie's head in both hands. “Oh hi, oh my god, you're even cuter than grandma told me on the phone -”

Kurt feels just a little hurt to be ignored in favor of a puppy. But then, Alfie really is exceptionally cute. He can forgive Blaine just this once.

“Hi Blaine,” he tries anyway, and within a second Blaine is back on his feet, and finally giving him the wave and grin.

“Kurt! My grandma got a puppy!”

“I know,” Kurt calls, laughing. “I've been playing with him for days. Isn't he cute?”

Blaine's dad pulls the bags out of the trunk, handing Blaine his backpack. “Hi Kurt,” he says, smiling.

“Hi Mr Anderson,” Kurt says back, but that's all the greeting he has time for because Alfie is on his way back to the backyard with Blaine chasing after him and Kurt has to follow.

**

They walk Alfie every day, and Kurt has no idea when he's ever done that much walking in his life. But he likes it. And he gets to do it with Blaine, which is even better.

“I've always wanted a dog,” Blaine tells him as they watch Alfie chase a pigeon in the little park near the ice cream shop. “But my parents won't let me have one.”

“Me too!” Kurt says. “My dad says we don't have the time for a dog. But now I can just go over to your grandmother's all the time and it will almost be like having a dog myself.”

“I'm so jealous that you live here and I don't,” Blaine sighs.

Kurt's face lights up with an idea. “When we're done with school, we should move in together and get a dog of our own!”

Blaine grins excitedly, nodding his head. “You're a genius! That's a brilliant idea!”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. I want one just like him. And we're going to name him Brownie and he can sleep in my bed!”

“Or in mine,” Kurt protests. He's not sure he wants to give over that privilege to Blaine completely.

“Maybe we'll just let him choose where he wants to sleep?” Blaine suggests.

Kurt frowns, thinking about it. “That sounds fair,” he says finally. “But I don't want to name him Brownie.”

Blaine's face falls. “Why not? That's a good puppy name!”

Kurt just shakes his head. “I don't think so. I want him to be called Nigel.”

“Okay, then we'll have to have two dogs,” Blaine decides. “One for you and one for me. But we can still live together, right?”

Kurt rolls his eyes at him. “Of course we can. We can still live together with two dogs.”

“Because I really like that idea,” Blaine says. “It's gonna be so much fun!”

Kurt smiles. Living with his best friend does sound like a very good idea. “I can't wait,” he says.

Blaine bumps their shoulders together and grins. “Me either. Now we just have to get done with school.”

“Ugh, school.” Kurt grimaces.

“You don't like school?” Blaine asks.

Kurt looks away. “Not really.”

“Why not?” Blaine glances over at him, confused. “Don't you like seeing your friends every day?”

Kurt shrugs. “I suppose so. But there are some people I don't like seeing.”

Blaine frowns. “Like who?”

“You don't know them anyway,” Kurt says. “It doesn't matter.”

“Yes, it matters,” Blaine insists. “You can talk to me, Kurt!”

He sighs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “It's just – some of the boys. They – say stuff about me. Call me names. Um. I don't really like that.”

Blaine looks concerned. “Have you told your dad? I'm sure he'd -”

“It's no big deal,” Kurt assures him. “I can handle it. I mostly just avoid them.”

Blaine looks at him quietly for a while, then he gently nudges their shoulders together again. “Forget them, okay?” he says quietly, smiling at Kurt. “If they don't like you, they're clearly stupid. Because you're awesome, Kurt. And if they don't think so, they're idiots.”

Kurt meets his eyes and just feels – so much better. “I wish you lived here all the time,” he tells Blaine.

Blaine just grins at him, and then turns back to watching Alfie chew on a twig. “I'm here for a few more weeks,” he tells him. “Let me know if we ever run into those boys anywhere, we can set Alfie on them!”

Kurt laughs until there are tears in his eyes, wiping them away with the back of his hand. “I don't think Alfie looks very threatening.”

Blaine thinks about it for a moment. “You can set me on them,” he offers, baring his teeth and making a low growling sound.

Kurt almost chokes on the next laugh. “Oh, Blaine. You're even less threatening than Alfie!”

“I'm big and dangerous!” Blaine calls, rising on his tiptoes and flexing his arms. “They'll quake before me in terror!”

Kurt shakes his head at him and pats his hair. “Sure you are, Blaine.”

“You have to look scared, dammit!” Blaine deflates a little, his pout only betrayed by the sparkle in his eyes. “I'd try to be more menacing for you, though.”

“I appreciate it,” Kurt says, and then Alfie runs up to them, obviously ready to go home, and Blaine clips the leash back onto the puppy's collar.

“Okay, let's head back, I think my mom wanted to call this afternoon.”

“Say hi from me,” Kurt says, even though he has never met Blaine's mom. But Blaine talks about her all the time, it feels like he already knows her.

“Sure, I will,” Blaine says.

They walk side by side, and Kurt wishes it could always be summer. He never wants this to end.

 

** Winter **

The phone rings while Kurt is having breakfast, and his dad goes to answer it. Kurt can hear him talking out in the hallway while he's busy trying to arrange the Froot Loops in his bowl by color. It's difficult because every time his spoon stirs the milk they keep getting mixed up again. But he's patient. It will work eventually.

He looks up when his dad comes back in, scratching his head and dropping into the chair opposite Kurt.

“Who was that?” Kurt wants to know, curious now.

“That was Mrs Anderson,” his dad says. “She's sick. The flu or something.”

“Oh.” Kurt feels bad for her. “Will she be okay?”

“Yeah, she just needs to sleep it off, she says, but,” his dad shrugs. “Apparently Blaine arrived last night -”

“He didn't even come over?” Kurt asks, hurt.

His dad laughs. “I think it was really late, buddy. He probably didn't want to wake you. And you're going to hang out every day anyway, one day doesn't matter, don't you think?”

Kurt just gives him a look across the table. It's one day with _Blaine_ , of course it matters! But he doesn't really expect his dad to understand these things. Clearly, his father has never had a friend like Blaine in his life. “So he's coming over today?”

“Uh, actually,” his dad says, grinning at him. “Yeah. And he's staying. For a few days at least.”

Kurt's eyes widen. This sounds too good to be true. “What?”

“Mrs Anderson says she can't take care of him right now and she doesn't want him to be on his own all the time. So she asked if he could stay with us for a while. Just until she's feeling better. And I said yes. That okay with you, kid?”

Kurt can barely speak through the wide smile that spreads across his face, so he just nods his head very enthusiastically. Of course that's okay, that's more than okay! He'll get to spend entire _days_ with Blaine and then they won't even have to say goodbye at the end of the day, they can stay up and talk and when he wakes up the next morning he won't have to sit through breakfast before he can go and see him again because he'll already be _right there_ – it's going to be like a sleepover that lasts for days! Kurt has been to exactly one sleepover in his life (with Blaine), which, at his advanced age, is clearly a bit embarrassing. But now he's going to make up for it all by having a several-days long sleepover with his best friend in the whole world!

“He'll be over in a minute or so and he hasn't had breakfast yet,” his dad says. “Do you maybe want to -”

But Kurt is already out of his chair, hurrying for the cupboard with the bowls and mugs. “I'll take care of _everything_ , don't worry, dad,” he calls, and he just can't stop smiling he's so, so, _so_ excited.

He's just finished setting out all the breakfast items for Blaine when the doorbell rings, and Kurt is already past his dad and out of the kitchen before his dad can even rise all the way from his chair. “I've got it,” he yells, almost tripping over his own feet on the way to the door.

He yanks it open, and there on the other side of the door is Blaine who he hasn't seen in months and Blaine is smiling at him and even waving and saying “Hi, Kurt!”

But Kurt is already hugging him and Blaine, after a second of shock, hugs back and they jump up and down a little, almost falling over each other in their excitement.

“You're back!” Kurt says over Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine laughs.

“I got here last night.”

“I know.” Kurt finally lets go of him to let Blaine come inside and drop his Spiderman backpack next to the stairs. “Do you want breakfast? We have Froot Loops. Or toast.”

“I love Froot Loops,” Blaine says, face lighting up. “And I'm starving!”

Kurt's dad looks up at them when they enter the kitchen. “Hey Blaine,” he greets him. “Good to see you. You okay with staying here until your grandma is better?”

“Hi Burt,” Blaine says, waving at him too. “Yes. And thank you very much for inviting me.”

“Not a problem, kid,” Burt assures him. “You'll have to share Kurt's room, but I guess it's gonna be okay for a few days, right?”

Kurt and Blaine share a look and Kurt can tell from the sparkle in Blaine's eyes that he is thinking the exact same thing he is. “Yeah,” Blaine says. “That's fine with me.”

“Totally fine,” Kurt agrees, and pours Blaine a bowl of cereal.

**

They help Kurt's dad put a fold-out bed into Kurt's room next to his bed that night before they go brush their teeth, sharing the sink in the bathroom.

Burt looks in on them again once they're both comfortable in their beds, actually tired after an entire day of fun. “Good night,” he tells them, before turning off the light.

Kurt and Blaine wait until they hear him descending the stairs, then Kurt leans over to switch on the lamp on his nightstand.

“What do you want to do now?” he asks.

Blaine sits up, grinning at him. “I don't know. Do you know any ghost stories? When I had a sleepover with my friend Charlie we told each other ghost stories.”

“Oh.” Kurt thinks about it. He doesn't want Blaine to think he's lame after Charlie had told him ghost stories, but … “I don't think I know any,” he confesses. “I'm sorry.”

“That's okay,” Blaine assures him. “I can't remember any of them either or I could tell you one. It's too bad you don't have a TV in your room.”

“Do you have one in your room at home?” Kurt wants to know. It occurs to him right now that he has never actually seen Blaine's room. Blaine's real room. He only knows the one he sleeps in at his grandma's house.

“No,” Blaine answers. “I don't have one either. But Charlie had one. We watched a movie after his parents went to sleep. I fell asleep before it was over though,” he says, laughing.

Kurt thinks for a while. It sounds like he has some work to do if he wants to be better than this mysterious Charlie. “What movie did you see?” he asks, just to stall for time.

Blaine shrugs. “I don't remember,” he says, laying back down on the narrow fold-out and blinking up at Kurt. “It wasn't very good.”

“Oh.” Kurt smiles, laying back down too so that he's facing Blaine. That's good news, then. He still has a chance to make this the better sleepover. “Hey, maybe we can watch something tomorrow,” he suggests. “During the day I mean.”

Blaine nods. “But I also want to build an igloo, you said we could try.”

Kurt still feels very skeptical about this idea. “Are you sure that will even work? Don't we need a lot of snow for that?”

Blaine shakes his head emphatically. “I read about it in a book, it sounded really easy. You don't have to help me if you don't want, but I want to try. Just think about it, wouldn't it be so cool?”

Kurt laughs. “Of course I want to help you. Okay, we can try.”

“Ha, I knew it,” Blaine says, smiling happily.

In the end they just keep talking until they fall asleep with the light still on, turned to face each other, each with a smile on their face.

**

Kurt wakes from someone shaking his shoulder the next morning and tries to roll away, but the hand doesn't disappear.

“Kurt,” a familiar voice says close to his ear, “Kurt, wake up! Wake up, Kurt!”

“Mmm no,” he protests, keeping his eyes firmly closed and trying to slide deeper under the covers. “'s too early.”

Instead of an answer, someone pulls at his covers and pokes him in the side, and he blinks his eyes open slowly to find Blaine's face hovering above his, grinning, framed by a wild tangle of curls. “Morning!”

“I hate you,” Kurt tells him, yawning.

“Come on!” Blaine grabs for his hand, pulls him into a sitting position. “It's snowed even more over night, we have to get dressed so we can go _outside_ , come _on_ , Kurt!”

Kurt lets himself be dragged to the bathroom, wondering whose idea this sleepover was in the first place. It's clearly not as great an idea as he had thought it was.

“I wish I could live here all the time, this is the best thing _ever_ ,” Blaine says, as he shoves Kurt into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. “I'm going to go downstairs and see if there's any breakfast,” Blaine yells through the closed door. “Do you want anything?”

“Juice,” Kurt yells back.

“Okay.”

Kurt yawns again, but then he looks out the window to see all the freshly fallen snow, and he hears Blaine humming downstairs in the kitchen, and he thinks about having breakfast with his best friend and then going out into the snow with his best friend and then coming back home and possibly having hot chocolate and watching a movie with his best friend.

Maybe this sleepover idea isn't such a bad idea after all, he decides. Blaine is here. He can handle getting up a little earlier if he gets to spend the entire day with his best friend in the world.


	7. Kurt is Eleven Years Old

**Summer**

It rains a lot, that summer.

Kurt stands behind the window in the living room, watching the house across the street, because he knows that this is the day. He had asked Mrs Anderson days ago. He's even canceled all of his plans with Mercedes for today and for the rest of the week and if they're going to make plans again for after that, well, she'll just have to deal with Blaine tagging along. Because Kurt's summers belong to Blaine, just the way they always have.

It's a little before lunch time when the car pulls up into the driveway across the street, and Kurt is at the door, slipping into the rubber boots and raincoat he had put next to the door earlier so he'd be ready. He just takes the time to grab an umbrella and yell, “I'll be right back, dad!” before yanking the door open and running across the street, jumping over puddles and skidding a little on the wet asphalt.

“Kurt!” Blaine calls, and Kurt can see him jumping up and down, waving with one hand and holding the hood of a jacket up over his head with the other to not get his hair wet. “Kurt, Kurt, I'm back!”

Kurt grins as he stops right in front of him, Blaine's hair looks crazy with all the humidity in the air and he hasn't put his shoes back on after the car ride, stands barefoot in his grandmother's driveway, and god, Kurt has _missed_ him.

“Hi, Blaine,” he says, and tips the umbrella so it covers Blaine too. “How long can you stay?”

**

They spend a lot of time indoors, that summer.

There are some sunny days and on those Blaine usually shows up at Kurt's ridiculously early, grinning and bouncing on his feet and babbling away about all the things he wants to do while Kurt tries to get his shoes on as quickly as possible before Blaine grabs his hand, impatient, pulling him along behind him out the door and into the backyard, excited and happy as a puppy about getting to play outside all day.

Kurt cannot imagine spending his summer any other way than watching Blaine chase every ray of sunshine they get and on the rainy days, lying on his stomach on the floor of Kurt's bedroom, humming some silly little tune he'd heard on the radio and waiting patiently while Kurt picks a movie for them. Summer means Blaine. That's the way it's been since they were five years old.

It's another rainy day when Blaine rings the doorbell even before breakfast, grinning brightly when Kurt opens. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Kurt says back, letting Blaine step past him, jumping back with a squeal when Blaine shakes droplets of water from his unruly curls. Because of course he didn't take the time to grab an umbrella before running across the street, sweet idiot boy that he is.

“It's raining again,” Blaine informs him, as if Kurt couldn't tell from the way Blaine's curls are clinging to his forehead wet with rain.

“I haven't even had breakfast yet,” Kurt says. “I just got up!”

Blaine laughs. “I've been up for hours, but grandma is still asleep. I left her a note after I walked Alfie so she knows where I am when she gets up.” As if he would ever be anywhere else than over here at Kurt's house.

“I was going to make pancakes,” Kurt says. “I guess I could make a few more.”

“You know how to cook?” Blaine stares at him wide-eyed and with his mouth open like knowing how to make breakfast is the most awesome and impressive thing in the world.

Kurt shrugs. “Some things, yes. Do you want to help?”

Blaine nods his head, excitement in his eyes. “Can you teach me?”

Kurt takes his hand to pull him behind himself into the kitchen. “Of course I can. It's not difficult at all.”

Blaine looks skeptical. “A few weeks ago I tried baking a cake with my friend Donna. The smoke alarm went off and her mom won't let her use the oven anymore.”

Kurt laughs. “Well, that's not going to happen today, don't worry!”

So they make pancakes together, with Kurt standing back and telling Blaine what to do and Blaine, with a very serious face, measuring ingredients and mixing pancake batter and getting flour all over the front of his shirt.

“This is fun,” he announces as he watches Kurt flip the first pancake, showing Blaine how it's done. “Can I do the next one?”

Kurt turns around to him, rolling his eyes. “You have flour in your _hair_ , how did that even get in there?”

Blaine brushes ineffectively at the back of his head and Kurt just heaves a sigh, taking the one step closer so he can ruffle the curls at the top of his head until all the white is gone. “There you go.”

“Thanks.” Blaine beams at him. “So, can I do the next one?”

His dad joins them in the kitchen just as they finish setting the table and looks quite impressed with the massive stack of pancakes sitting on a plate on the counter. Some of them are a bit funnily shaped because Blaine kept flipping them so they landed on their sides, and some are a bit burned, but mostly they still smell delicious.

“You guys made breakfast?” he asks, giving Kurt a one-armed hug from the side as he walks past him.

“Kurt taught me,” Blaine says proudly. “I didn't know he could cook.”

“These look great,” Burt tells them, and Kurt smiles at the way Blaine lights up under the praise.

They eat at the kitchen table, Blaine already talking a mile a minute about all the things he wants to do with Kurt today.

And Kurt really doesn't mind rainy summers all that much.

 

** Winter **

“Kurt,” Blaine calls as soon as he sees him running up to the car, and Kurt waves at him, skids on the ice covering the sidewalk and stops his momentum with both hands against the low fence of Mrs Anderson's front yard.

“Blaine!” It's a very cold winter and he only took the time to throw on a jacket before he ran out, his neck is getting cold without a scarf.

“Look!” Blaine holds up a weirdly shaped bag, waving it around proudly before pulling out a pair of skates. “Look what I got for Christmas!”

“Oh, that's great,” Kurt says.

“We should totally go together sometime, do you want to?”

Kurt frowns, skeptical. “I've never skated before.”

Blaine raises his eyebrows at him, shocked. “But – why not? It's the most fun ever, please Kurt, I'll teach you! It'll be great!”

Kurt thinks about it for a second before lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “Fine. But if you laugh at me, I'm never going to speak to you again.”

“I would never laugh at you,” Blaine promises solemnly.

**

Blaine totally laughs at him when Kurt falls on his ass after taking the first step on the ice.

He glares up at Blaine. “That's not funny, it's _slippery_ -”

“Sorry, sorry,” Blaine breathes through a huge grin, offering Kurt his hand to help him up. “Just hold on to the railing here, I'll just – I'll be right back -”

And with that he's off, speeding around the ice skating rink at amazing speed, passes Kurt waving at him, and circles around once again before aiming right at Kurt. Kurt holds his breath, fingers clutching the railing tightly to prepare himself for the impact, but Blaine brakes right in front of him with a little sideways twist of his feet, the blades spraying up ice as he comes to a stop just a foot away from Kurt. “Okay,” he pants. “I just needed to – are you ready to try now?”

Kurt stares at him, eyes wide. “Try what?”

Blaine laughs. “Skating, Kurt. Come on, let go, take my hand instead.”

Kurt shakes his head, hard. “No, Blaine, I'm fine right where I am, you go ahead, I'll just -”

But Blaine takes his arm, pries his fingers off the railing and starts skating backwards, pulling Kurt along with him. “I do this all the time at home. See, this is _fun_ -”

“Blaine!” Kurt warns, “Blaine, take me back _immediately_ , this is not a joke, I don't want to -”

“Hey,” Blaine interrupts, letting go of Kurt's arm to take both of his hands instead, still skating backwards. “It's okay. I've got you. I won't let you fall, okay? I promise!”

“You also promised that you wouldn't laugh,” Kurt mumbles, sulking a little.

Blaine pouts at him. “I said sorry! I just couldn't help it! But this time I mean it, I won't let you fall, really. Come on, this can be really fun.”

Kurt sighs, grips his hands a little bit tighter. The things he does for his best friend. “Fine,” he concedes. “But not any faster than this!”

“Okay,” Blaine agrees, and smiles at him.

Half an hour later, Kurt is still a bit wobbly on his feet, but feels confident enough now that Blaine can skate beside him, only holding one of his hands. He's no longer being pulled behind, he's taking his own careful steps now, and it is sort of fun in a weirdly scary way. He doesn't think he'll ever do this by himself, but the way Blaine enjoys this makes it completely worth it.

“You're really getting better,” Blaine encourages him, and Kurt throws him a quick, tight smile, unwilling to take his eyes off the ice for too long yet.

“Thank you!” His feet are seriously starting to hurt now. But Blaine has promised him hot chocolate for coming with him today. He can do this for a bit longer with the promise of hot chocolate later this afternoon.

**

They sit on Mrs Anderson's couch, each leaning against one of the armrests, feet tangled in the middle because they both just needed to stretch out their legs after standing on skates all afternoon.

Mrs Anderson makes the best hot chocolate in the world and she always puts marshmallows in it. Kurt feels warm and happy and content and pleasantly exhausted after the day spent outside in the cold winter air.

“We should go again some time,” Blaine suggests, blinking at Kurt sleepily over his mug.

Kurt takes another sip of hot chocolate and thinks about it. His feet still hurt and his legs feel tired, but he can't deny the fact that he did have fun. A lot of fun. “Maybe,” he says. “Yes, we could. I guess.”

Blaine nudges Kurt's leg with a socked foot. “Thanks for going with me today. You're really awesome, Kurt.”

Kurt smiles, blushes, stares down at the mug in his hands. “Thanks for not letting me fall. You're really awesome too, Blaine.”


	8. Kurt is Twelve Years Old

**Summer**

Kurt is so very grateful when school is finally over that summer. Everything has just been getting worse lately. He's used by now to most of the other boys teasing him, there's hardly anyone who hasn't done it. Well, Mike is usually nice to him. And Artie too, but he thinks Artie is mostly nice because he gets teased a lot as well and knows it doesn't feel very good. Mike is just genuinely a nice guy and incapable of being mean to anyone, unless the other boys really push him to do it.

But what's worse, what is so much worse, is that Kurt suddenly doesn't even have the girls anymore. He's heard them talking for a while about the fact that boys are really gross, for some reason, but this past year, ever since last summer, they've started including him in that more and more. He doesn't understand, they're his _friends_. He doesn't understand why they suddenly don't like him anymore, just because he's a boy? It's really unfair.

Mercedes still comes over sometimes and hangs out with him. So do Rachel and Tina, if a little less frequently. But at school, they suddenly hardly know him anymore. Which means that Kurt now has absolutely no one. He's felt lonely before, so many times, but now, he thinks, he is actually alone.

So he stays indoors mostly the first few days of his vacation, helping his dad around the house, reading a few books, and redecorating his room. He has a few craft projects lying around that he hadn't had the time for with all the homework and all the feeling sad about being so very lonely. He continues working on them now, but his heart isn't really in it. He just really, really wants someone to hang out with.

He waits a week before he makes his way over to Mrs Anderson's house and rings the doorbell.

“Kurt,” she greets him, obviously pleased to see him once she opens the door. “How nice to see you.”

“Hi Mrs Anderson,” he says, taking a deep breath, preparing himself for the question that has been weighing on his mind with every day that passed with no car pulling up into her driveway. “I was just wondering -”

She nods slowly, looking sad. “You want to know if Blaine is going to visit, don't you?”

He shrugs, staring at his feet. “I just – yes. Yes. Is he -”

“Not this summer, I'm afraid,” she says, and sounds genuinely sorry about it. “His parents took him on a trip to England.”

Kurt looks up at her, forces a smile onto his face. “Oh.” He doesn't know what to says, his chest feels too tight and the loneliness is worse than it's ever been. “Okay. I – That's nice for him.” He shrugs again. “If you speak with him, can you – can you tell him I said hello? And that I hope he's having a nice time.”

Mrs Anderson nods. “Of course. Do you want to come inside? I have milk and cookies.”

Kurt shakes his head. He can't be in her house right now, and god, it's stupid to be so upset over a boy he sees twice a year for a few weeks. That boy is still something like his best friend, though, and what does that say about Kurt's life? “No, thank you,” he says. “I promised my dad to clean out the basement over the summer. Better get started on that.”

She gives him a sad little smile and a pat on the arm. “It's fine, sweetheart. I miss him too. I'll tell him you said hello when he calls.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, and hurries back to his house, where he hides in his room for the rest of the day.

He knows, rationally, that this is not Blaine's fault, they're twelve years old, if his parents want to take him on a vacation, he has to go with them. But still, he feels abandoned and small and unloved. _Why would Blaine want to see you when he can have a trip to England instead_ , a little voice in his head chirps up. _No one wants to hang out with you, you're weird, Blaine is probably glad he had an excuse to not come here this year._

He rolls onto his side and clutches his pillow to his chest, eyes falling on the stuffed penguin Blaine gave him when they were eight and Kurt was so very sad and Blaine wanted to make him feel better. It used to be Blaine's favorite toy, and he gave it to Kurt because Kurt was sad.

He closes his eyes because he can feel the stinging of tears already. It's not true that Blaine doesn't care about him. Blaine likes him, Blaine is his best friend in the whole world, Blaine _likes_ him.

Blaine isn't here.

Kurt keeps his eyes closed and fights the sadness that has taken up permanent residence in his heart.

**

That summer, Kurt learns to sew. He teaches himself, since his mom isn't there to help him anymore. It's a great way to pass the time, and on top of that, he gets lots of pretty things out of it. Even if his first attempts come out looking rather weird.

But then he stops to say hi to Mrs Anderson when he's walking down the street on his way to bring his dad the lunch he'd forgotten on the kitchen counter that morning, and they start talking. Kurt mentions his sewing, and she tells him to bring everything over the next day to let her have a look at it.

It feels weird, stepping into the house without Blaine there. But once they've sat down and she starts explaining about different fabrics and needles and shows him a few new stitches, he soon starts feeling comfortable.

And over the weeks, he improves, with her help, even though he soon finds that sewing everything by hand takes forever. That's when he ventures into the attic to unearth his mom's old sewing machine. As it turns out, it still works, and Mrs Anderson comes over one afternoon to help him set it up and teach him how to use it.

The whole summer goes by like that and Kurt is still sad that Blaine never showed. But, as he finds out, Blaine's grandmother is almost as good a friend as Blaine himself.

So maybe it's weird that he hangs out more with her than he does with Mercedes. But at least Mrs Anderson never giggles when he enters a room or looks at him weird when he's wearing a new scarf. Which automatically makes her a more awesome friend than everyone at Kurt's school. Plus, she still has Alfie, who, as it turns out, is a very good listener when Kurt just needs to talk for a while.

And a few weeks into the holidays, he actually gets a letter from Blaine – not just a dumb postcard, but an actual _letter_. It starts with _Dear Kurt_ , and then entails a detailed description of all the things Blaine's seen and eaten and done so far, and ends with the words _I miss you, I wish I could have gone to England and visited Lima at the same time! I hope to see you again soon!_

In the envelope, there's also a picture, a photo of Blaine standing in front of some old English building and waving at the camera, hair wild and the smile stretched across his entire face. Kurt finds a frame for it in a box in the attic and puts the photo on his nightstand.

**  
Winter   
**

Winter passes in much the same way – Kurt stays inside a lot, watching the other kids outside have snowball fights that he isn't welcome to join. He doesn't know most of them anyway, they're not in his grade, but even the people who are supposed to be his friends don't invite him out much anymore. Kurt has to admit that he's withdrawn from them himself. It just hurts, knowing they talk behind his back whenever he's not there and he'd rather be by himself anyway.

He still goes to see Mrs Anderson at least once a week, sometimes he walks her dog for her, and eventually gathers the courage to ask her for Blaine's address so that he can send him a Christmas card.

He even makes the card himself, which is probably a silly thing to do, but he just wants Blaine to have something a little more personal than something bought in a store. He hasn't seen him in almost a year now, but he still thinks that things would be better if he were here. He does remember how happy he was every time he was with Blaine.

The message on the card is short, but Kurt doesn't know how much he should be writing to a boy he hasn't talked to in a year. There has been no communication between them since that letter over the summer.

But only a day after he mails it, he gets a card from Blaine too – handmade and wishing him happy holidays, saying he misses him and he's very sorry he couldn't come that winter. There's no way it's already a reply to the card Kurt has sent – Blaine thought of him without needing to be reminded.

Kurt stands at his window and watches the other kids play outside and doesn't feel quite so alone anymore.


	9. Kurt is Thirteen Years Old

** Summer **

That summer, Kurt works in his dad's garage for some extra money. He likes hanging out at the garage, he has been helping on and off since he was six years old, even if all he really did back then was hold things and dust the shelves and watch everyone work. But there had always been a pair of coveralls there for him.

Now that he's older, he begins seriously helping out, and he finds that he actually likes working on cars. There's something calming and nice about fixing things, it definitely takes his mind off everything he doesn't really want to deal with. And he really needs the money, because he has his eye on a new jacket and it's not a cheap one.

He had so many plans with Mercedes and Mike for this summer, but then Mercedes surprisingly went away with her parents on a trip to California and Mike started dating Tina and he kind of wants to spend all of his time with her now. Kurt can't really say that he understands. He likes Tina well enough, they've been friends for _forever_. But – he just doesn't quite see the appeal. He doesn't see the appeal of dating at all, if he's being honest. It's just not something he ever thinks about or considers for himself.

He knows that most of his friends are starting to. He knows that Rachel has a crush on Finn and Finn has a crush on Quinn and Tina spent weeks lying on the floor of Kurt's bedroom whining about the fact that she didn't know if she wanted to be dating Mike or Artie, because both of them had asked her out and she liked them _both_ , and it was all so very unfair … And Kurt had listened like the good friend that he is and hadn't really understood.

“Don't you want a girlfriend too some day?” Mike had asked, when Kurt had asked him what was so great about dating in the first place.

“I don't know,” Kurt had answered honestly.

He thinks about it now, sometimes. Is that something he wants? He washes his hands in the sink at the garage's washroom and imagines … kissing. Kissing Tina. Kissing Mercedes. Or Rachel. He shudders. It mostly just seems incredibly disgusting and unsanitary. He has no desire at all to press his mouth to someone else's. Least of all one of his _friends_ , oh god, he could never look them in the eye ever again.

For a brief moment he imagines kissing Mike, but that just makes him blush furiously, and he quickly turns away from the sink, drying off his hands and starting to change out of his coveralls. Guys don't do that. Kiss each other. He might not know a lot about dating, but he knows _that_. Besides. Mike is his friend too. It's just weird.

“Everything okay?” his dad asks, looking around the door frame. “You about ready to head home?”

“Yeah. Yes.” Kurt nods, taking a deep breath and pushing all thoughts of dating and … _kissing_ , ew ... out of his mind. “Just a second.”

“Do you want to order pizza?” his dad asks, and Kurt sighs, looking up at him sadly.

And he loves pizza, but... “Dad, again? We've had pizza three nights this week already.”

His dad scratches his head. “Huh. Any other ideas, then?”

Kurt quickly goes over everything he knows they still have in the fridge. “I'll make us something,” he offers. “Can we go by the store and pick up some green peppers?”

“Okay. Sure.” His dad smiles at him, shaking his head a little. “I don't know what's wrong with pizza, but I'm not gonna say no to anything you cook for us instead, you're getting really good.”

Kurt sighs again. “I get a lot of practice, since you refuse to cook anything more complicated than pasta,” Kurt says, grabbing his things and walking past his dad, who slaps his shoulder, laughing.

“Well, I have you to take care of me, don't I?”

Kurt smiles up at him. He likes taking care of people.

**

He ends up spending a lot of time walking Alfie that summer whenever he's not working in the garage. He takes him to the park and makes him catch Frisbees and fetch sticks until they're both exhausted. Then he takes him back to Mrs Anderson's and feeds him and usually ends up staying for tea and sometimes cake.

Mrs Anderson is great, but sometimes, these days, he finds it easier to talk to Alfie. Alfie just – looks at him with his big dark dog eyes and licks his hands and rests his head on Kurt's knees. He keeps all of Kurt's secrets for him – like the fact that Kurt still wishes Blaine would come back because all of his other friends are being weird and he's sure that Blaine wouldn't be. Or like the fact that Kurt thinks that Mike has really pretty eyes and very nice arms. Or the fact that Kurt knows that Rachel and Tina are talking about him behind his back and that it was Puck who wrote that thing about him on the door of the toilet stall. If Alfie could write, he'd never do anything like that, Kurt is sure of it.

 

** Winter **

Kurt wonders if the winter holidays have always been this boring or if he just feels it more somehow this year. He's restless and doesn't feel motivated to really do anything, he starts a dozen crafts projects and abandons them. He starts walking to the store every day instead of making his dad drive him there. He's officially taken over the cooking in their house now because at least it gives him something to do, and it is kind of fun.

He meets Mrs Anderson in the grocery store, in the aisle with the pasta, and she immediately smiles at him and waves him over even if he hasn't been to see her in almost two months. He feels bad about that, she is always so nice to him. He's just been … distracted, with so many things, ever since school started again. So many thoughts.

“Kurt,” she says. “How nice to see you.”

“Hi Mrs Anderson,” he greets her, smiling back. “How are you?”

“Oh, I'm quite well, thank you.” She looks him up and down slowly, frowning. “But you get skinnier every time I see you.”

“I'm growing really fast,” Kurt tells her.

“Yes, I can see that!”

“I'm sorry I haven't been over in such a long time,” he apologizes. “I meant to, I just -”

“Oh, hush.” She dismisses it with a wave of her hand. “You have better things to do than to have tea with me, a young man like you. I'm not mad at you.”

Kurt shrugs. “I've just been … busy.” Which is a lie, but he really does feel bad. “But now I'm not, so -”

“Well, if you feel like it, I made the ginger snaps you used to like. And I have tea!”

Kurt grins. “I love ginger snaps!”

“They're waiting for you whenever you want to come over,” she promises him.

**

Kurt goes over to her house that afternoon. He really kind of misses talking with her, it's weird. But his own grandmother lives several hours away and … he almost thinks of her as his grandmother too. Sometimes he just needs to talk to her.

They sit in the living room, drinking tea out of those small delicate cups with the flowers on them, and Mrs Anderson shows him the scarf she's been knitting. “For Blaine,” she explains. “He won't be coming here this winter, but I'm going to mail it to him when it's done.”

“I'm sure he'll love it,” Kurt assures her, then bites his lip. He hasn't seen Blaine in almost two years. “How is he?” he asks.

“Oh, I think he's fine,” she says, sighing. “He says he's fine. His parents have just decided to go skiing this winter and, you know, he's a thirteen-year old boy. Of course skiing is more exciting than spending weeks at his old grandma's house.”

“Do you miss him?” Kurt asks.

She nods. “Of course I do. But I'm driving up there this spring to spend a week with them. I'll see him then.”

Kurt takes a sip of his tea, thinking about Blaine for a moment. He wonders what he looks like now. He'll look different. Kurt looks nothing like he did when he was eleven. Blaine will have changed too. He remembers how important those summers and winters with Blaine used to be to him, how Blaine was his best friend in the entire world even if they only got to see each other for a few weeks every year. Kurt has other friends though. He has Tina. And Mercedes. And Mike. And sometimes Rachel, but all she ever talks about is Finn.

“How's your sewing?” Mrs Anderson asks.

Kurt shrugs. “It's going okay. I'm working on a few different things.”

“Still enjoying it, then?”

“Yes. It's fun.” He laughs. “And it gives me something to do while all of my friends are busy dating each other.”

She raises both eyebrows at him. “Oh, you're that age already?” She leans forward conspiratorially. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Um, no.” He blushes.

“A boyfriend, then?” she asks, and Kurt blushes even darker, can feel his ears burning with it.

“What?”

She gives him a curious look. “I've always wondered -”

“Why would I have a boyfriend?” he asks, heart beating too fast in his chest. Why would she say something like that? She can't know how he's thought about kissing Mike sometimes or how he's so jealous when Sam keeps looking at Mercedes like that and never even notices him. No one knows. Because it's not important, he'll get over it, it's _weird_.

“Oh, honey.” She reaches over and pats his hand. “It's okay. You have time for all of that. You're still so young.”

“Why did you think I might have a boyfriend?” he asks. “I'm not – I don't -”

“Kurt.” She gives him a firm look. “You don't have to have a boyfriend. You don't have to have a girlfriend either. 

“Good,” he says, face still hot with embarrassment. “Because I don't want one.”

She is silent for a while, just watching him. Then she says, “Kurt, sweetheart, if you ever have any … questions. Or if you ever feel like there's something you need to talk about, you know you can always come here, right?”

He nods, not entirely sure what she's talking about. “Yes.”

“I watched you grow up,” she continues. “You've spent entire summers in my backyard and I put band aids on your scraped knees and made you hot chocolate. If you ever just need a grandmother, you know where I live. As far as I'm concerned, I am, for all intents and purposes, your grandmother too.”

“Thank you,” Kurt starts, but she just smiles at him warmly.

“You're a good boy, Kurt,” she continues. “And whatever it is that you – Whatever you need. I want you to know that you're always, always welcome here.”

Kurt makes burritos for dinner for his dad and himself that night and feels a little less restless.


	10. Kurt is Fourteen Years Old

** Summer **

Kurt meets up with Mercedes for a cup of hot chocolate at the Lima Bean the first day of summer break. He hasn't really made any plans this year – he supposes he's going to work in the garage for a bit and sing a lot in his room – he is definitely going to be joining glee club next year – and other than that, he is really just looking forward to hanging out with his friends.

Only then Mercedes shows up with Shane who she is apparently dating now. And while she does seem to be trying to pay attention to Kurt, Shane keeps distracting her, whispering to her, and they giggle and hold hands and Kurt – stares into his hot chocolate and feels like the third wheel.

And as if that isn't enough, after about ten minutes, Mike and Sam show up, Sam with Quinn on his arm and Mike with Tina, and Kurt swallows and tries not to stare at their table too obviously. He never really did get over that crush on Mike and things between him and Tina have been weird as a result, and then he spent a good part of the past school year actually thinking Sam might be gay after all, just because he was nice to him and kept wanting to hang out. But, as it turns out, Sam is really just a nice guy. A very straight nice guy, who is currently holding hands with Quinn.

Kurt stays for another twenty minutes before excusing himself, then slips out of the coffee shop, watches from outside through the window how Mercedes and Shane get up to join Mike, Tina, Sam and Quinn at the next table.

He tries not to feel left out. He really does. He knows they don't mean it that way, they're just happy. It still stings that he never gets to be one of them. He just wants to be happy like them too.

His walk home takes him past Artie's house, and he decides to stop by, maybe Artie wants to hang out, he usually has time for Kurt even if they don't share many of the same interests.

Only when Artie wheels up to the door to see who's there, Sugar is leaning against the back of his wheel chair, smiling brightly at Kurt as she sees him.

“What up?” Artie asks.

Kurt shakes his head. “Sorry. I didn't know you had – company. I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out maybe, but that's fine. I should have texted. Sorry.”

“No problem, man,” Artie tells him, lifting his arm for a fist bump. “Some other time.”

“Yeah.” Kurt forces a smile. “Some other time. Nice to see you, Sugar,” he adds, before walking away.

“Are you cheating on me with him?” he hears Sugar ask before the door closes.

He walks home slowly, thinking. Stops in front of his own door, makes a quick decision, and turns around to head across the street. He hasn't been to see Mrs Anderson in almost a week, after all.

She opens the door with the same delighted smile she always has for him. It instantly makes him feel better. She never makes him feel like he's intruding.

“Kurt,” she greets. “How are you?”

“I'm fine,” he says, and she waves him inside.

“I was just making tea, do you want a cup?” she asks.

Kurt nods. “That would be lovely, thank you.”

They sit at her kitchen table, Kurt playing absentmindedly with a spoon while Mrs Anderson looks at him. “If you don't mind me saying this so bluntly, you don't look fine,” she says. “What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?”

Kurt shrugs. “I'm not sure what to say,” he admits. “It's probably stupid.”

“If it makes you feel this bad, it's probably not,” she disagrees. “Why don't you try talking about it?”

He sighs. “It's just – my friends. I mean, they're all – dating. Each other. And they do keep inviting me to hang out with them, but it's … weird. It feels weird. Like I don't – I don't know.”

She nods carefully. “You're feeling left out?”

He laughs bitterly. “I guess. Which is stupid, they're not leaving me out of _anything_. I know more about their relationships than they do.”

She seems to think about that for a moment. “Is there anyone you would like to ask out?” she asks. “You know, you could. If you wanted to. You don't have to, but if there's someone who -”

“There isn't anyone who would appreciate being asked out by me, I'm sure,” he says, not certain he wants to go into any more detail.

“It's Mike, isn't it?” she says, looking at him over the rim of her thick glasses. “You talk about him all the time.”

Kurt blushes. “Like I said. It's weird.”

She laughs. “It's a bit unfortunate that you can't actually ask him out, but it's definitely not weird. Do you really think it's weird?”

Kurt shrugs. “I don't know. I mean, all the other guys like girls, shouldn't I – at least try that?”

“Do you want to try that?”

He shakes his head. “I've never – I'm friends with all of them. I don't know. I couldn't. I've never thought about them that way.”

“And yet you have thought about Mike that way.”

“I don't know what to do,” he admits in a small voice, feeling like he's going to cry.

“Oh, honey.” She reaches across the table, putting her wrinkly old hand over his. “I know. But believe me, one day you'll meet someone who'll want to be asked out by you. You're a good-looking boy. It will happen. Trust me.”

He blinks the tears away and attempts a smile. “I don't think so. But thank you.”

“Kurt,” she says. “There's no point arguing about this. I'm always right. You should know that by now.”

 

** Winter **

He more or less misses Christmas that year. He'd been sniffling and feeling cold and miserable for the entire last week of school, and the first morning of winter break, he wakes up with all of his bones aching and too tired to even contemplate leaving the bed. So he goes right back to sleep.

His dad takes him to see a doctor that afternoon, and he just hears the word flu a lot before he's back in his own bed, sinking back into blissful sleep.

Only then the fever dreams start and he keeps waking up sweaty and disoriented in the middle of the night, his dad's face swimming in and out of view, mumbled words he can never quite make out.

This might just be the worst winter break ever, he decides, when he wakes up one morning lucid enough to check the date and finds out it's the 25th. He hasn't even finished the Christmas present for his dad.

He makes his way downstairs, a little drowsy still but too restless for the first time in days to stay in bed.

His dad makes breakfast and Kurt manages to eat a cracker and have some tea.

That afternoon, his dad piles up pillows on the couch for him, drapes blankets over him until Kurt can hardly move, and they spend the rest of the day watching Christmas movies.

As far as winter breaks go, this one is pretty lame. But at least he has a valid excuse not to show up to Tina's Christmas party and hang out with all the couples, the only single one among all of them. Small blessings, right?


	11. Kurt is Fifteen Years Old

** Summer **

The summer holidays start off pretty much the way they have every year since he was twelve – Kurt makes a list of the things he had planned to do and hadn't had the time for during the school year and then sets to work reorganizing his room. After that, he starts on one of his many projects.

He helps his dad in the garage for a few hours every day – he can always use the extra money and he likes spending time with his dad, as unusual as that may be for a fifteen-year old. He doesn't care. He's reminded that he's not 'normal' every day of his life, just one more thing to add to the ever-growing list.

The holidays are more than two-thirds over when he looks out of the window one afternoon to see an unfamiliar car parked in Mrs Anderson's driveway. He doesn't think much about it – it's probably the TV repair guy or some relative visiting for a few days. Mrs Anderson doesn't get many visitors, but sometimes a nephew or cousin does stop by.

Kurt puts down his sewing – the shirt he's wanted to make for months now – and goes to change into his work clothes. He's promised his dad to help out for a few hours this afternoon.

It's when he comes back from the garage a few hours later, on foot because it isn't far, wearing his coveralls and with dirt under his fingernails and sweat and grime all over his face and arms, that he sees him. He sees _him_.

He hasn't seen him in three and a half years, and yet it takes seconds to recognize him – his curly hair is gelled down and he's wearing a sweater vest and a bow tie instead of a t-shirt with a cartoon figure on it. He's grown, he holds himself different, he looks different. And yet he hasn't changed at all. Not one bit over the course of the past three and a half years.

And Kurt would know his best friend in the world anywhere.

He's standing next to the parked car, arms wrapped around himself, staring across the street at Kurt's house as if he's wondering why it's still there and Kurt just doesn't know what to do.

Blaine hasn't seen him yet, and, oh god, he doesn't want him to, not like this, he's covered in motor oil and he probably smells, he has been working hard for hours, and what right does he have to stand there looking at Kurt's house anyway, where the hell has he _been_ all those years?

Kurt swallows, feeling something tug at his insides, something small and painful and surprised and he feels … so very insecure.

They were friends, once.

They were best friends.

And then Blaine didn't come back to him the way he'd promised. He'd _promised_. And he hadn't come back. The only real friend he'd ever had, and even he had abandoned him. And Kurt doesn't want to be resentful, he's not the type to be holding a grudge, but it had really hurt, okay?

He takes a careful step forward, thinking. He wants to talk to him, but what would they even say? They haven't seen each other in years. They were kids when they knew each other. Kurt wasn't like this when they knew each other.

Blaine probably won't even like him anymore and Kurt isn't sure he wants to lose even the memory of the friend he once had. He doesn't know if he could survive it if the only boy who was ever really his friend looked at him with the same disgust he sees in every other boy's eyes every time they look at him. He couldn't bear it.

There is no other way to his house, though. He could go back to the garage, get some paper work done for another hour or so. But if he's being quite honest, he just wants out of the filthy clothes and take a shower. A nice long, hot shower.

So he takes another step forward, starts walking carefully down the street. Maybe he can just nod at Blaine, walk past, and disappear into the safety of his own house. Maybe. After all, they don't really know each other anymore.

However, he's only taken another few steps when Blaine turns his head and sees him and it's clear from the surprised, almost delighted expression on his face, that he recognizes him instantly and that Kurt will not be able to just walk past.

“Kurt!” Blaine calls out, the same way he did every time they met when they were kids. His voice is deeper now, though, somehow richer. And he doesn't jump up and down, doesn't wave excitedly. Still, his face lights up the same way Kurt remembers it doing every summer and every winter throughout their entire childhood.

“Blaine?” he responds, trying to sound surprised, as if he'd just now recognized him. “What are you doing here?”

“Kurt,” Blaine just repeats, smiling at him as Kurt stops in front of the low fence. “Hi.”

“Are you visiting again?” Kurt asks, “It's been a while.”

Blaine shrugs, and there's a guarded expression around the corner of his eyes. “I'm – I'm sorry I haven't been back in so long, it's just been -”

“It's okay,” Kurt assures him. “I understand.”

“What – what have you been up to?” Blaine asks, giving him a little uncertain smile, and Kurt almost wants to laugh.

“Oh, the usual, you know.” He shrugs, wrapping his arms around his own torso, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about his grimy appearance. “School, helping my dad in the garage – that's where I'm coming from right now, in fact.”

“How is your dad?” Blaine asks.

“He's … good,” Kurt answers. “Okay. How are you?”

Blaine shrugs. “Good. Okay. Thanks.”

“Well, I -” Kurt points his thumb over his shoulder at the house across the street. “Should probably go and – shower. I feel a little -”

“Yeah, yes, of course!” Blaine nods, takes a step back. “Sure. I didn't mean to keep you – I'm sorry.”

“It's good seeing you again,” Kurt says, feeling awkward. This is weird. They don't even know how to talk to each other anymore. He starts walking away, eager to be home and just not having to stand here anymore.

“Kurt?” Blaine calls after him, and Kurt looks back.

“What?”

“Would you maybe – I mean, do you -” he takes a breath, tries again. “You probably have plans already, but – would you like to hang out sometime?”

Kurt smiles, he has never been able to not smile at Blaine. And he's not sure that he really wants to after all this time, but what comes out of his mouth is, “I'd like that. We should catch up!”

“Yes,” Blaine says, looking happier than he had a minute ago.

“I work at the garage tomorrow morning,” Kurt says. “But after that – I don't know, we could -”

“I'll be here,” Blaine promises. “Whenever it's good for you. I'm here.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, nodding. “See you later, Blaine.”

“See you later,” Blaine says, and Kurt can feel his eyes on him as he walks the rest of the way to his own house.

**

He hesitates only a second before ringing the doorbell to Mrs Anderson's house. He's been over here a number of times over the past few years, but it's different, now that Blaine is back. He feels like a little kid again, running over on a Wednesday afternoon asking if Blaine can come out and play.

It's Blaine who opens the door. “Kurt,” he says, and sounds so very happy to see him.

That was the thing Kurt remembered most of all, whenever he thought about them over the years – how happy Blaine had always been and how much happiness he himself had felt because of it. Blaine had always been a little ball of sunshine in his life. He can feel the smile on his face before he even has any chance to stop it.

“Hi,” he answers.

They go into the backyard where they used to hang out when they were kids, Alfie following behind them, yapping excitedly. Kurt has been in Mrs Anderson's house over the years, but never out here. It hasn't changed much. There are fewer flower beds and the grass has grown a little higher than it always used to be. Kurt feels bad because he never even thought of coming over and offering to do the mowing for her, and she's seriously not getting any younger, it would have been the polite thing to do after all the help she gave him with his sewing. But he has no time to linger on these thoughts right now, not with much more pressing things on his mind.

“So, you're back,” he says, once they're settled on the garden wall side by side like they used to sit. Only now, Kurt's legs aren't dangling in the air, he can sit quite comfortably with both feet firmly on the ground.

“Yeah.” Blaine grins, shrugs, looks away. “I'm back.”

Kurt waits for him to say more, but when nothing comes, asks, “Any particular reason?”

Blaine stares down at his own knees, sitting very tense. “I'm actually here to stay this time.”

“Oh.” Kurt hesitates, not sure how to react. “I hope there isn't anything – did something happen with your parents?”

“No! No,” Blaine hastens to assure him. “No, they're fine. It's – it was … school, mostly. I needed a change of scenery.”

Kurt nods, not sure what Blaine means by that. “I've felt like that sometimes,” he sighs.

Blaine shakes his head, wets his lips with his tongue. They used to be best friends. They would have told each other everything once. Now Kurt can tell that Blaine is holding something back, but he doesn't want to pry. So he changes the topic. “Are you going to McKinley, then?”

Blaine looks up at him, relieved. “Yes. That's where you go, right?”

“It is.” Kurt grins at him. “This is great. You should actually really think about joining glee club. We're kind of good and I remember that you liked to sing when we were kids.”

Blaine laughs. “I'll think about it. I could use some after school activity to make a few friends around here.”

Kurt takes a breath, glancing at Blaine out of the corner of his eyes. “Well, you've already got one,” he says.

Blaine smiles at him, as brightly as Kurt remembers him doing when they were little. “I was hoping you'd say that.”

**

There's a week of the summer holidays left and they've been hanging out every day, reconnecting slowly, filling gaps in the knowledge of each other, telling their stories of the past three and a half years.

Sometimes Kurt feels like his head is spinning; a few weeks ago he was the loneliest boy on the planet dreading the return to school because of how utterly alone he felt every day walking through those doors, because of the way he could never quite get the dumpster smell out of his clothes all day whenever his bullies decided that that was a perfect way to start off a morning.

And now he has a friend again. He doesn't understand why it's so easy, letting Blaine back into his life, when he's been hurt before by almost everyone he knows. Even Mercedes had ignored him for a while. She's so very sorry about it now and keeps asking him to hang out and go to the movies and have coffee after school. And Kurt has forgiven her a long time ago. That doesn't mean that he doesn't remember what being abandoned feels like. Still, he cannot imagine Blaine ever doing that to him. They've been friends since they were five years old. Blaine already knows everything about him anyway. Well, almost everything.

He doesn't know that Kurt is gay, and there's no reason he needs to know about that, not yet anyway. Not for a while longer. Because Kurt wants to have a few more months of having Blaine look at him without fear and disgust in his eyes. He's under no illusions about what Blaine would think of it. This is Ohio. Kurt knows the way people's brains work here.

But then they're sitting once again on the low garden wall in Blaine's backyard and Blaine is quiet. They're often quiet together, it's nothing unusual. What's unusual about it is how uncomfortable it feels all of a sudden. Because Blaine keeps fidgeting and looking away and his throat keeps working like he wants to say something but doesn't know how. Blaine is quiet because he can't find the words not to be. And Kurt waits. Whatever Blaine needs to say to him, Kurt will wait for it.

“It wasn't just trouble at school,” Blaine says finally.

“What?” Kurt asks.

Blaine shrugs, still doesn't look at him. “The reason I came here. Well, it was trouble at school, in a way. But … I don't know.”

Kurt bites his lip, feeling uncomfortable because Blaine is so uncomfortable. “You don't have to tell me if -”

“No, I need to,” he says. “You should know. Because we're friends, right?” Kurt nods, and Blaine continues, “There was this Sadie Hawkins dance. And … I really wanted to go. But I wanted … I couldn't, um.” He clears his throat, shaking his head as if to clear it. “I asked a friend. I wanted to go with _him_. I didn't want – and they all knew anyway that I was ...” he doesn't continue.

Kurt looks at him, confused for a minute, before he feels the weight fall off his chest at last – he doesn't have to worry about Blaine finding out about him, because - “You're gay!”

Blaine glances over at him, just for a second, then turns away, blushing with embarrassment. “Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I understand if this changes things -”

“Me too,” Kurt interrupts. “Blaine, it doesn't change anything. I am too.”

Blaine finally meets his eyes. “Oh.” He attempts a small smile. “Okay. Good.”

Kurt nods, encouraging him to continue with his story.

“Okay,” Blaine says. “Anyway, we – my friend and I – went to the dance together.” He closes his eyes. “It was a stupid idea, they'd been teasing me for months, shoving me around, calling me names – but I just really wanted to, you know? It's not fair that we're missing out on all the stuff they get to do just because -”

“I know,” Kurt says, even though he's not sure he does. He's never even had a friend he'd consider asking to a dance. He's always been the only one.

“It went incredibly well,” Blaine says, then laughs bitterly. “Too well, in retrospect. I should have known something was up.”

“What happened?” Kurt asks, almost scared to find out.

Blaine shrugs. “We danced. We talked. We hung out. It was nice. I didn't even like him that way, but it was … just nice and exciting, you know? Like a date.”

“That sounds nice,” Kurt says.

“Only then, when we left, they were waiting for us in the parking lot. Three of them. Football players, I think, I didn't really see their faces because it all happened so fast -”

“What did they do?” Kurt whispers.

Blaine stares down at his hands folded in his lap. “They beat the living crap out of us,” he says, voice almost too level, detached from the events of that night. “They didn't stop. They just kept – and I didn't know – they just didn't stop.”

“Oh my – oh, Blaine, I'm so sorry.” Kurt feels sick, doesn't understand. He wants to reach out and touch Blaine's hand, curls his own into fists instead to stop himself.

“I don't know what made them stop eventually,” Blaine says. “I woke up in the hospital a day later. I actually really don't remember much else,” he confesses. “Just that – just how much it _hurt_. Everything. They'd given me a concussion and cracked a few ribs, my arm was broken – I don't know what made them stop. No one saw it. My dad found us in the parking lot when he came to pick us up, and they were already gone. It must have been such a shock -”

Kurt does reach out now, carefully, covering Blaine's hands with his own. He wants to wrap him up in his arms and keep him safe there, and he doesn't even know where that impulse is coming from, but he feels _sick_ with the thought of anyone hurting Blaine. He doesn't understand. How can people want to hurt Blaine? “I'm so sorry -”

“I never went back there,” he says. “I finished the school year at another school, but they'd still … one afternoon, they saw my parents' car parked outside the grocery store when I was food shopping with my mom and they scratched ' _fag_ ' into the doors, I couldn't -” he swallows, and Kurt squeezes his hands. “I couldn't stay there. I couldn't. So I called my grandma. And here I am.” His grin is wobbly, eyes red-rimmed with unshed tears. “A fresh start.”

Kurt doesn't even think about it, just lets go of Blaine's hands to pull him into a hug instead. And remembers that summer years ago when he'd cried over the possibility of his mom going to the hospital and Blaine had done the same thing for him. “Fresh starts are good,” he tells him. “I'm glad you came here.”

Blaine hugs him back, sniffles against the collar of Kurt's really quite expensive shirt. “So am I,” he says.

 

** Winter **

This winter, Blaine leaves instead of coming to visit. He goes home for Christmas, and his grandma goes with him.

Kurt comes over to say goodbye before they get into the car, and doesn't resist when Blaine hugs him tight for a minute. Then he crosses his arms against the cold and watches them drive off, feeling a little melancholy with holiday mood, feeling a little alone without Blaine, but mostly feeling really, really, indescribably _good_. The past few months have been – different.

School still isn't his favorite place to be. He still hasn't managed to get a real solo in glee club. All of his other friends are still dating each other and breaking up with each other faster than he can blink. But he's no longer lonely. He has his best friend in the world back, and he hadn't expected this to be so easy. But it is. It really, really is. It's just as easy as it was when they were kids.

Well, except for the part where Kurt has kind of a massive crush on Blaine and can't show it because Blaine is his best friend.

But, really, who could blame him. Blaine is _perfect_. He's so cute and beautiful and funny and smart and so sweet and polite and the way his chest looks under those sweater vests, compact and strong and perfect for wrapping your arms around. And the bow ties that just make you curious about what his skin looks like under his shirt collar, and Kurt has had _dreams_ about taking the bow ties off of him. Dreams that make him feel hot with embarrassment afterwards, but are _so very_ enjoyable while he's having them.

If there is one thing in the world that Kurt is quite certain of, it is that Blaine is the sweetest, most adorable, most _perfect_ boy to ever exist on this entire planet. And he's his _best friend_. Funny how things turn out sometimes. Kurt, who felt like he didn't have a friend in the world for so long, ends up having the most perfect friend imaginable. It's like the universe saved up for him. Instead of spreading it out over a number of people, it made this one boy, this one perfect boy. It made Kurt lonely and sad for years and then said _sorry_ by giving him Blaine.

All Kurt feels these days is lucky.

Blaine is back a few days after Christmas, and he's strangely quiet when they hang out in Kurt's room to decide on a movie to watch together.

Kurt turns around to him, _Mary Poppins_ in one hand and _The Grinch_ in the other, about to offer Blaine the final choice, and stops with his mouth open to speak upon seeing Blaine wipe his eyes discreetly on the back of his hand while he assumed Kurt's back was still turned.

“Are you okay?”

“What?” Blaine gives him a wobbly smile. “Yeah. Yes. Of course I am. Um, can we watch _Mary Poppins_? I've already seen _The Grinch_ twice this year -”

“Sure.” Kurt puts away the unneeded DVD, then eyes Blaine again, carefully. “Are you sure you're okay?”

Blaine shrugs. “It's just – it's hard sometimes, you know? Being away from them all the time.”

“Are you homesick?” Kurt wants to know.

Blaine closes his eyes. “This is so embarrassing.”

“No, it's not,” Kurt insists. “You're allowed to miss your family.”

“I'm just -” Blaine hangs his head, rolling his eyes at himself. “I miss my mom. That's so stupid. I'm fifteen years old and I _just_ saw them, and here I am sitting in my best friend's room and crying because my mommy isn't here.”

Kurt walks over, sits down next to Blaine, bumps their shoulders together in a little comforting gesture. All he wants in this moment is to make him feel better. “I still cry about my mom,” he confesses. “Do you think that's stupid?”

Blaine's eyes widen as he looks up at him. “No, _no_ , of course not, Kurt! That's not stupid!”

“But it was years ago,” Kurt insists. “I should really be over it by now, shouldn't I?”

Blaine shakes his head. “She was your _mom_.”

“Yes, she was,” Kurt says. “And I'll always miss her. You're allowed to miss yours too.”

“But that's just not the same thing.” Blaine shakes his head stubbornly. “You'll actually never see your mom again. Mine lives three hours away by car.”

“Just because it's not the same doesn't mean you're not allowed to be sad about it, Blaine,” Kurt tells him. “I'll never make fun of you for that.”

Blaine opens his mouth as if to argue, then snaps it shut again. “Okay,” he says eventually, quietly. “Okay. Thanks.”

“Not a problem. Oh, wait, here.” Kurt jumps up, walking around his bed to take the small stuffed penguin he's grown to love so much off the pillow. “Remember Walter? I never gave him back to you. I'm sorry.”

Blaine blinks at the old toy. “I gave him to you to make you feel better. You weren't _supposed_ to give him back.”

“I always meant to, though,” Kurt says. “But then I got so used to having him here when, um. When you weren't. When you couldn't be here instead. I'm sorry. But you should have him back now! I think you need him more than I do.”

Blaine shakes his head firmly. “No, he's yours now! I want _you_ to have him!”

“Blaine, I've had him for _years_ , he's yours. I should never have kept him this long!”

But Blaine seems to have made up his mind. “I _gave_ him to you. I _like_ that you have him. I want you to keep him.”

So Kurt gives in. He has to admit that he's glad, it might be silly for a fifteen-year old to be so attached to a stuffed animal, but he does love that little penguin very much. _Blaine_ gave him to him. So he carefully puts him back on his pillow where he belongs, smiling. “Okay,” he says. “I'll keep him. But – can I give you a hug instead? I want you to have _something_. To make you feel better.”

“I definitely wouldn't say no to a hug,” Blaine agrees, grinning.

So Kurt wraps his arms tightly around him, holding him as close as he dares. He presses his face against Blaine's shoulder, breathing him in, and tries not to shake with the feelings for this boy that fill his heart almost to bursting. God, he _loves_ him.

That night after Blaine has gone home, he sits down at his sewing machine, an idea already forming in his head. He wants Blaine to have _something_. From him.

**

He takes the finished project over to Blaine's the next day, hands cold with nervousness, because he's never made things for anyone other than himself or his dad or Mrs Anderson. This feels oddly personal, making something with Blaine in mind, giving it to him just because he wants to, and he just hopes that it's not too much.

But when he hands Blaine the pillow he made out of dozens of scraps of leftover fabric, dozens of little differently colored squares sewn together into a pillowcase, Blaine smiles like it's the best present he ever received and hugs it to his chest before he hugs Kurt.

And Kurt really, really likes having someone to make beautiful things for. Making Blaine smile like that is his favorite thing in the world.


	12. Kurt is Sixteen Years Old

** Summer **

It's the first day of summer break and Kurt enjoys sleeping in, waking a little after ten, and just lying awake for a few moments, reveling in the thought that he has uninterrupted weeks of time to himself now. Not having to go to school is the best thing about the summer. And, of course, the fact that Blaine is living right across the street from him and they can spend their days hanging out instead of going to class or choosing songs to sing in glee club.

He still has a crush on Blaine. He's learned to just sort of live with it now. Blaine is his best friend, Blaine has been his best friend since the day they met when they were five years old. He's not risking this friendship for anything.

Eventually, he gets up, pulling on a light robe over his pajamas and finding a clean pair of socks, and shuffles downstairs to make himself a late breakfast. It's Saturday and his dad is probably at the garage to take care of some paper work. And Blaine won't be over until later, Blaine likes sleeping in even more than Kurt does most of the time.

But Kurt has only just sat down with a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee when there's a knock on the front door. He thinks he must have imagined it the first time and keeps eating his breakfast, but then it knocks again and he carefully places his spoon in the cereal bowl and walks over to the door, socked feet quiet on the hardwood floor, and peers through the window next to the door.

It's Blaine, bouncing on the heels of his feet, biting his lip nervously as he waits, finally shrugging and turning to go.

Kurt hurries over to the door to pull it open quickly, not even caring right now that he hasn't brushed his hair yet and is still not wearing any proper clothes. “Blaine!” he calls.

Blaine turns back around, one foot already on the steps leading off the porch, and smiles nervously up at him. “Kurt! You're awake. I wasn't sure.”

“Why didn't you use the doorbell?” Kurt asks. “I barely heard your knocking all the way in the kitchen.”

Blaine shrugs. “I didn't want to wake you up in case you were still sleeping.”

“Oh.” Kurt can't help the smile that's stealing over his face. He has the most considerate best friend in the world. “Thank you. But I'm up!”

“Yes, you are.” Blaine laughs. “I'm glad. I have been up for an hour or so and I was getting bored without you.”

“God, do you need me for everything?” Kurt teases. “You couldn't entertain yourself for just one morning?”

Blaine grins. “I could have, but I didn't want to. I missed you!”

“You saw me like twelve hours ago.”

“Which is basically forever,” Blaine says. “Can I have a cup of coffee?”

“It'll stunt your growth,” Kurt informs him, grinning back.

“Haha.” Blaine pushes past him, heading straight for the kitchen. “Hey, do you have plans today?”

Kurt blinks. “Um. No? I thought we were going to hang out -”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Blaine assures him quickly. “Just making sure and everything. I didn't want to keep you from anything important.”

“Blaine.” Kurt walks back over to his chair, dropping into it unceremoniously to finish his breakfast while Blaine gets a mug for himself and pours a cup of coffee, adding milk and sugar. “It's summer. I hang out with you all the time, every summer, every year of my life since I was five. With a few exceptions that were entirely out of my control because you didn't show up.”

“So that's a yes to the hanging out today?”

“Yes,” Kurt confirms. “Why? Did you have something specific in mind for us?”

Blaine leans against the counter, sipping his coffee and giving Kurt a mysterious look over the rim of his mug. “I might have a few ideas, yes.”

“Like what?”

Blaine shrugs. “You know about that community theater production of Rent?”

Kurt nods. “Of course!”

“I sort of got us tickets. For this afternoon. You want to go?”

Kurt stares at him wide-eyed for a second. “Um. Yes? Oh my god Blaine, are you serious?”

Blaine just smiles and takes another sip of his coffee. “Finish your breakfast, Kurt. I kind of need to go the mall before we head to the theater, I need a new bow tie.”

“You do not _need_ one.”

“Fine, I _want_ one.”

Kurt smiles at him. “I'll go with you. There's this sweater I've had my eye on for weeks now, and I've finally saved up the money to buy it.” It sounds like this is going to be a great day.

**

Rent is fantastic. So it is only a community theater production in Lima, but it's still amazing. Blaine got them good seats, and Kurt can't stop grinning brightly while they wait for the music to start. He has wanted to see this for quite a while, and he knows Blaine knew that. Still he would have never expected him to actually get them tickets.

“You'll have to let me pay you back for my ticket,” Kurt tells him, turning in his seat to face Blaine.

Blaine shakes his head resolutely. “No way. I invited you. No way are you paying me back.”

“Blaine -”

“I won't take your money, Kurt,” Blaine insists. “I just wanted to do something nice for you, and besides, I would have had to go by myself if you hadn't come along. The way I see it, we're even.”

“This is one of my favorite musicals,” Kurt says weakly, resolve already breaking.

“I know.” Blaine smiles excitedly. “Didn't that all work out perfectly?”

Kurt leans back in his seat and bites his lip to keep the delighted smile in. Blaine is just too perfect sometimes.

Rent really is one of Kurt's favorite musicals, so he's prepared for the sad parts – he still can't help the way his throat goes a bit tight and his eyes start stinging when Angel dies. He glances over at Blaine, who is sitting there sniffling and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, and Kurt feels – warm. It's a sudden rush of affection that almost makes him shudder and he has to stop himself from reaching over to pull Blaine into his arms and just hold him close and safe until the sadness finally goes away. Instead, he tentatively reaches out a hand, placing it carefully over one of Blaine's. He holds his breath for a second – they've held hands before, when they were kids. It's not really been something they've been doing a lot ever since Blaine moved here permanently a year ago, and Kurt isn't sure how this gesture is going to be received.

There's an agonizingly long moment where nothing happens, but then Blaine turns his hand palm up under Kurt's, lacing their fingers together and gripping tightly.

Kurt exhales, a wide grin on his face while on the stage Mimi and Roger and everyone else get into an argument in the middle of their friend's funeral. When Blaine is holding his hand, Kurt finds, he can totally handle the sad parts of the story.

Kurt has to let go of Blaine's hand eventually, when the play is over and they're walking out. But Blaine stays close to him so that they don't lose each other, and Kurt can hear him humming _No Day But Today_ under his breath. He walks ahead, feeling Blaine close behind, and oh god, he really loves the theater, this has been a wonderful afternoon. He really cannot wait until he's on a stage himself, he'd make a great Roger, or maybe Mark. He knows everyone sees him as Angel, which is exactly why that's not the part he'd ever want. Kurt likes a challenge.

“You'd make a great Roger,” Blaine tells him, voice close to Kurt's ear, and Kurt grins. Well. Yeah.

Once outside, they walk half a block or so to get away from the (relatively small) crowd, and Kurt is still replaying his favorite parts of the performance back in his head, when Blaine interrupts his thoughts with a loud groan.

“Oh god, I'm hungry.”

They had skipped lunch because they had needed more time at the mall than they had thought, and Kurt feels his stomach rumble as well. “Same. How about we go get some food, then?”

Blaine nods. “Breadstix?”

“Absolutely!”

Blaine bows, waving his arms exaggeratedly. “Lead the way!”

It's not a long walk from the theater, for which Kurt is grateful. Now that he's been reminded how hungry he really is, he simply cannot wait to get food into his stomach.

It's just a little before five, so Breadstix is mostly empty and they get a table in an almost secluded corner. Under different circumstances, Kurt thinks, this could almost be romantic. He blushes, and immediately starts talking about the performance to keep his mind away from that particular train of thought.

Soon enough, they're laughing and joking, Blaine feeding Kurt bites of his sandwich and Kurt offering Blaine forkfuls of his pasta, and once they're done with their meals, Blaine proves once again what a great friend he is by ordering them a large slice of cheesecake with two forks.

Kurt remembers his lonely summers of the past few years and the happiness bubbles up inside of him so fast and strong and overwhelming that he can't stop the blush on his cheeks, can't hold back the laughter that just tumbles out of him.

“What?” Blaine asks, looking up from the plate with the remains of their cake.

Kurt shakes his head. “Nothing. I'm just – I really like cheesecake.”

“I know you do,” Blaine says warmly.

And Kurt thinks, once again, that maybe the last few years of crushing loneliness were worth it, in the end. Maybe he had to go through that to get Blaine. A sort of cosmic balance, even if he doesn't believe in that stuff.

Blaine quickly grabs his wallet when the waitress brings their check, giving Kurt a firm look across the table. “I've got this.”

It's Kurt's turn to shake his head with some emphasis behind it. “No way, Blaine. You already paid for the tickets. Let me get dinner.”

Blaine frowns. “No, this was my idea, and my parents sent me some vacation money, I can totally pay for you!”

“Well, I won't let you,” Kurt insists, stubbornly. “I can at least pay my share.”

Blaine rolls his eyes at him, even though he looks amused. “Fine. Oh my god. We'll each pay half.”

“Okay, that sounds fair,” Kurt agrees, getting out his own wallet. “See, that wasn't so difficult.”

“Oh, I'm the one who's being difficult?” Blaine asks jokingly. “I only wanted to be nice!”

Kurt reaches across the table to pat Blaine's hand. “I know, honey. But trying and succeeding aren't always the same thing.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don't.”

Blaine laughs. “Let's get out of here, come on. I promised grandma that we'd walk Alfie for her tonight.”

**

Alfie apparently really feels like walking tonight – they take him to the park by the ice cream shop and walk all the way around the duck pond, but when they get back to where they started, Alfie just keeps tugging at the leash, urging them into a second round around the pond.

“I don't mind,” Kurt tells Blaine who is holding the leash. “I have no other plans for today, let's go around again.”

“Okay,” Blaine agrees. “It's kind of nice out, too. Perfect weather for walking.”

“Yeah.” Their hands brush as they have to squeeze together to let a woman with a stroller walk past them. “This was kind of a perfect date. _Day_ ,” Kurt corrects himself quickly, blushing. “Day, I mean.”

He glances up at Blaine from under his lashes, surprised to see him blushing and slightly flustered as well. “We can call it a date, if you want,” he offers quietly, not meeting Kurt's eyes.

Kurt doesn't know what to say for a second. “But I don't – I wouldn't want – Are you sure?”

Blaine finally looks up, eyes a bit unsure as they catch Kurt's. “We don't have to,” he says. “Just, if that was something that you wanted, I'd be completely fine with – that.”

Kurt inhales sharply, nervous with excitement. “You'd be fine with – dating me?” He needs to be sure.

Blaine shrugs. “Does that freak you out?”

Kurt has no choice, he just starts laughing. “I've had a crush on you since the day you suddenly showed up on our street again last year,” he blurts out, then feels his face heat up even more, ears burning with embarrassment.

Blaine breathes a little relieved sound of laughter. “Me too. Oh my god.”

“No you didn't, I looked hideous that day,” Kurt remembers. “I was just coming home from the garage and I was covered in motor oil -”

“You looked amazing,” Blaine interrupts, and then reaches out his hand briefly, squeezing Kurt's fingers for just a moment before looking around and dropping his hand nervously again. They're still in a park in the middle of Lima, Ohio.

“One more round and then back home?” Kurt asks, and Blaine nods.

“Yes. Sounds good.”

They end up walking a little closer together than they had before and they don't talk much as they follow Alfie's lead down the path, retracing the exact same steps they took a few minutes ago. Kurt smiles to himself. That's the same pond they're walking around, that's the same bench they passed fifteen minutes ago, and that's the same oak tree with someone's initials carved into the stem. Everything is the same. Except for the most important detail of all, and that is that this time around, they're walking down the path as two boys who are dating each other. It makes all the difference in the world.

Once Alfie is safely back inside Mrs Anderson's house and rolled up on his dog pillow in the living room, Blaine and Kurt head out the back door and into the backyard.

Blaine sits down on the porch steps and Kurt, after hesitating just a second, sits down beside him. He's not entirely sure what the protocol here is now, they're still on a date after all, but they're also still Kurt and Blaine, best friends since they were five years old.

This time, it's Blaine who takes Kurt's hand first. “This is nice,” he says, running a thumb over Kurt's knuckles.

“It is,” Kurt agrees, letting Blaine caress his hand and just enjoying the perfect moment for a few minutes. “I should head home soon,” he says eventually. “Or at least let my dad know that I'm over here.”

“Yeah.” Blaine bumps their shoulders together affectionately, but the look in his eyes is tentative when he looks at Kurt. “We'll hang out again tomorrow, right?”

Kurt nods. “Of course we will. I'm looking forward to it.” He bites his lip, not sure if it's too early to reveal this much. On the other hand, screw it, they've been best friends their entire lives. “You're always the thing I'm looking forward to the most each summer.”

“I live here now,” Blaine reminds him.

Kurt shakes his head. “Doesn't matter. Some things just never change.”

“I'm always looking forward to seeing you too, you know that, right?” Blaine says. “It doesn't matter if I last saw you ten hours or four months ago.”

Their eyes are still locked and Kurt notices the flicker in Blaine's, the way his mouth twitches as if he wants to say something more, and he just can't wait any longer. “Can I try something?” he asks.

“Sure,” Blaine says immediately, as always trusting Kurt completely. “What is it?”

“This,” Kurt says, closing the distance between them to press his lips to Blaine's.

Blaine's lips are wet and warm and strangely soft against his, and Kurt can feel his sharp intake of breath, can taste Blaine's breath on the soft, shaky exhale that follows. He raises a hand to slide it around the back of Blaine's neck, holding him in place for just another moment, because this is the best feeling in the world and he never wants it to end, he never wants to be any further away from Blaine than this ever again, their faces pressed together, Blaine's hand coming up too to cup the side of Kurt's face and tilting his head a little for better access.

They don't do anything fancy, just keep their mouths pressed together for a few seconds before pulling back with a little smacking sound.

Kurt licks his lips, tasting Blaine there, and lets his eyes flutter open slowly to see Blaine with his eyes still closed, lips still pursed a little and slightly open, looking so blissful and content and overwhelmed. The happiness piercing through Kurt is so sharp and sudden it almost hurts, and without a word he dives back in for another kiss, this one a little more bold, a little more daring.

Blaine makes a little whining noise in the back of his throat when Kurt captures his bottom lip between his own and Kurt slides his arms around him and pulls him closer, shuddering happily when Blaine goes willingly, cuddling against him and kissing back with as much enthusiasm as Kurt is feeling.

This is starting to look like their best summer together yet.

 

** Winter **

The bright side of dating Blaine, being Blaine's boyfriend (because oh god he's Blaine's _boyfriend_ now), is obvious – he's dating Blaine, which means he gets to hug Blaine and kiss Blaine and hold hands with Blaine and stare lovingly into his eyes whenever he feels like it.

There's also a downside, though, Kurt has discovered within days of their first kiss on that warm summer night out on Blaine's back porch – while before, they had spent most of their time together completely unsupervised and just the two of them, suddenly there are rules, and there are fathers and grandmothers walking in on them unannounced at pretty much all times.

They're fine with it, Kurt's dad and Blaine's grandmother. Kurt's dad had been so happy for him when Kurt had admitted what was going on between him and Blaine, a rather awkward conversation during which Kurt had blushed a lot and Burt had just looked at him patiently and then put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly, saying, “Good for you, kiddo. I like him.” And Kurt had nodded, his smile almost too big to speak, and replied, “Thanks, dad. I like him too.”

Blaine's grandmother had just pulled him into a hug the morning after Blaine had told her, whispering in his ear, “I always hoped it would be you two.” And even though Kurt had already been filled to bursting with happiness, that had made him even happier.

But still, it has appaRently been decided that no matter how happy everyone is for them, they are still never going to be left alone for any extended period of time ever again.

During the summer, they had reclaimed the old playhouse in the tool shed, getting rid of the by now disgusting couch cushions and the carpet and setting up a small folding table and two garden chairs instead. They had started keeping blankets in a drawer of the old dresser that was still pushed against the back wall, because, as they'd had ample time to discover that summer, making out is much more comfortable lying down than sitting in two separate chairs with a table in between them.

However, once Blaine's grandmother had figured out what was going down in her old shed, she had made it her mission to show up there at random intervals, bringing them lemonade or waffles or reminding Blaine to take out the trash later or informing them that Alfie needed to be walked or one of a dozen other random excuses.

They can only hang out in either of their rooms with the door left open, and even then people will suddenly be sticking their heads inside, asking, “Everything okay in here?”

And it is a bit frustrating, over time, because all they want to do is spend time together unsupervised.

Things are going wonderfully between them. Not that Kurt has a lot of comparison (or none, to be exact), but he thinks he can still say with some authority that Blaine is pretty much the best boyfriend ever. They don't make them any better than Blaine, he is sure of it.

Blaine is attentive and sweet and smart and beautiful, he makes Kurt laugh and he's the _best_ kisser, he sings to him and lets Kurt sing to him in return and when they watch a movie together, he cuddles up against Kurt and puts his head on his shoulder and Kurt feels so warm and safe when they are like that. He's amazed at how much he likes having a boyfriend. He always thought he would, but the sheer amount of _good_ his relationship with Blaine has turned out to be still overwhelms him sometimes.

It's like Blaine is just exactly right for him – he's still his best friend and they just seem to get each other.

But what had amazed him the most had been the reaction of their friends at the beginning of the new school year – instead of being surprised, they all just acted as if they had been expecting this for ages.

“Finally,” Mercedes had said, rolling her eyes at them. “I thought I had to stage a serious intervention if you hadn't gotten your act together soon.”

“I'm so excited, I knew this would happen,” Tina had exclaimed, hugging them both, and then proceeding to explain her plans for their double date with her and Mike, an event she had apparently been planning for a long time, since before summer break even.

“Wait, I thought you two were already married?” Brittany had asked, confused.

But now it's winter and there is no school, and away from the prying eyes of their friends, all they want is to find some quiet time to spend together, just the two of them.

The opportunity arises one day just after Christmas, when Burt actually goes out on a date and leaves them alone because there is simply no other way. Kurt isn't all that excited about his dad dating Finn's mom, but they had met at a parent-teacher night and apparently hit it off right away.

He is distracted from his brooding thoughts over his small family possibly expanding when the doorbell rings.

He opens it to find Blaine on the other side of it, shivering slightly because he hadn't even taken the time to put on a jacket before running over to Kurt's. “You texted?” he asks.

And Kurt just grabs the front of his sweater and hauls him in for a kiss that starts off fast and dirty right from the beginning. He is not going to think about anything but Blaine right now, it's been far too long since they had a decent chance to make out for an extended period of time.

“My dad's out,” Kurt breathes against Blaine's lip, diving back in for another kiss immediately. “He won't be back for hours, we have the house to ourselves until at least eleven.”

“Oh thank god,” Blaine groans, wrapping his arms around Kurt and kissing back. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to kiss you,” Kurt replies eloquently, shuffling backwards awkwardly until he can shove the door closed. It's cold outside.

“I like that idea,” Blaine says. “Upstairs?”

“Yes, please.” Reluctantly, Kurt pulls back, because there is just no way they can climb the stairs with their mouths attached to each other like that without getting hurt. He takes Blaine's hand instead, hurrying up the stairs as quickly as he can. He needs to be alone in his room with Blaine and making out with him ten minutes ago.

They kiss for what feels like an hour, hard and desperate, and slow and gentle, breathing each other's air, cuddled up on Kurt's bed as close as they can get. They haven't gone farther than this yet, even though Kurt has definitely thought about it. A lot, recently. He's a sixteen-year old boy with a very hot boyfriend, of course he has thought about it. There simply hasn't been any opportunity for them to … explore any further.

They kiss until their lips are swollen and a bit sore, and even then they don't stop, god, he can never get enough of Blaine, he has no idea how they have gone so long without making out like this. It seems essential. It seems like the most important thing in the world right now.

Kurt can feel his skin buzzing, hands holding onto Blaine too tightly, his body straining to be even closer even though he knows they should take it slow, they haven't really talked about this, and what if Blaine doesn't even want to? He knows Blaine has never done this before either. They both don't have a clue what they're doing. All Kurt knows is that he really, really wants to.

And then Blaine rolls on top of him, dipping his head to kiss him slow and deep, and Kurt places his hand onto the small of Blaine's back to drag him closer.

Blaine's hips lower and then press down and their kiss breaks with a loud smack as Blaine throws his head back and gasps, and Kurt's body jolts, almost coming off the mattress with the sudden pressure of Blaine's thigh against his already hard cock. And he can feel Blaine pressing against his hip, just as aroused as Kurt is, and oh god, it feels amazing.

Immediately, Blaine tries to pull back, tries to lift his hips, but Kurt tightens his hold of him, gasping as the movement makes their bodies slide together. “Stay. Please.”

“Kurt -”

“Please.”

“Are you sure?”

He looks up into Blaine's eyes, and oh, they're dark with arousal and his hair is a _mess_ and his face is flushed, and Kurt has never been more certain of anything in his _life_. “I want to. If you want to. It feels – good.” He bucks his hips up experimentally, just once, and Blaine's eyes squeeze shut.

“Oh god.”

“We can go slow. We can stop any time. Just, please, Blaine, just a little more, _please_ -”

Blaine presses down a little harder, grinding just a little bit, and sparks explode under Kurt's skin as he hears Blaine's tiny moan. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes. Yes. I want to. Kurt, of course I want to, always want you -”

They shuffle around until Blaine is nestled between Kurt's legs, and their eyes lock.

“I love you,” Kurt says.

Blaine leans down to kiss him, soft and yet with so much barely concealed hunger behind it. “I love you too.”

It had taken them all of three months of dating to finally say the words, and Kurt is kind of proud of his restraint on that front since he had been feeling it for much, much longer. Blaine had been the first one to say it, blurting it out over coffee one day when they were sitting in the old garden shed talking about their plans after graduation (New York, for both of them). And Kurt, who had been planning grand gestures and big declarations, had just sat there, coffee cup halfway to his mouth, one hand still in the air mid-gesture as he was finishing a sentence, and blinked at his boyfriend over the rickety old folding table. For weeks he had been searching for the perfect moment, evaluating and discarding because nothing was good enough. And there Blaine was, sitting with his head propped up on one hand, looking at him so gently, saying “I love you,” while Kurt was describing his perfect outfit for their first date in New York. And Kurt had put down his coffee, taken a breath, and thought, oh. Yeah. Right. That actually was the perfect moment. “I love you too,” he had breathed, and Blaine had smiled and asked him about what bow tie he should choose with the jacket Kurt pictured him in.

And now Blaine is on top of him, so close to him, kissing him like kissing Kurt is the most important thing in the world. Kurt holds onto him and breathes him in and feels like the luckiest person on earth.

Blaine starts moving, slowly, almost carefully rubbing his impressive bulge up and down against Kurt's equally impressive bulge. And Kurt closes his eyes and draws in a shuddery breath and clings to his boyfriend, wondering how this can feel so much better than his own hand. Because it does.

It's probably because of Blaine.

Blaine, who is getting a bit bolder, grinding his hips down again and again, and Kurt wraps one leg around both of Blaine's angling the other one up for leverage so he can grind up against Blaine. It's absolute heaven, every thrust sending electric jolts through his skin, and he's breathing heavily already, can hear the answering sounds of Blaine's panting breath above him.

“So good,” he gasps. “Blaine -”

“Kurt -” Blaine answers, almost choking out his name. “I'm – I think I -”

Kurt presses one hand over Blaine's ass, needing him closer, closer, always closer... “Me too,” he assures. “Oh god -”

Blaine's hips keep jerking forward in aborted, desperate little thrusts, each labored exhale ending in a tiny moan.

Kurt thinks if he doesn't come soon, he's going to burst, he needs, he needs -

And then Blaine thrusts forward hard, and then again, and again, and Kurt opens his eyes to watch as Blaine's body goes rigid, face scrunched up in pleasure, the sound escaping his throat almost sounding like a sob.

It hits him like a hot wave, the realization that he's watching Blaine come, holding him through it, the realization that Blaine is having an orgasm from rubbing off on Kurt.

He grabs onto Blaine's ass with both hands and grinds up frantically, teeth sinking into Blaine's shoulder as the pressure builds so quickly deep inside.

Blaine is heavy and solid and warm on top of him, smelling like sweat and skin and hair gel, and Kurt throbs in the confines of his pants as he presses his cock up against Blaine's hip.

He comes with a low moan, muscles seizing up and thighs trembling and mouth falling open against the fabric of Blaine's sweater, pure, hot bliss rushing through his veins and leaving him wrecked and trembling underneath Blaine.

“Oh my god,” he breathes, slumping back against the mattress. “Oh my -”

“I know,” Blaine pants. “That was -”

“Amazing.”

“Yeah.”

Blaine slides off him but Kurt follows, curling their bodies together, unwilling to let go of Blaine right now. He's never felt closer to him. And Blaine just cuddles into him, content with being held by Kurt, pliant and trusting and loose-limbed.

**

They get more opportunities, that winter, after all. A half hour unsupervised here and there, and they always make it count.

As comfortable as Kurt had been in their relationship before, now it just feels even better. There are so many things he learns that winter – he learns how smooth the skin on Blaine's back is and how good it feels to have Blaine's chest hair tickle his cheek when he nuzzles his face against his bare chest. He learns how to hold Blaine and stroke his hair and his sweaty arms after he's come, always needing Kurt's arms around him when he's at his most vulnerable like that. He learns the needy little sounds Blaine makes when Kurt touches him in certain places and how his hips stutter and strain when Kurt holds them down to the bed with his head between Blaine's legs. He learns how good it feels to cuddle after, listening to each other's calming breaths, placing his palm on Blaine's chest to feel the strong beat of his heart. He learns how well his hand fits over that soft little part of Blaine's stomach that Kurt likes to kiss and bite and rest his head on once they've both calmed down after sex.

He learns a lot of things that winter.

But the most important thing, he finds, he had known all along – being in love with Blaine and being loved by Blaine is the best thing that has ever happened to him. Nothing can ever be better than this.


	13. Kurt is Seventeen Years Old

** Summer **

Blaine's family arrives soon after the beginning of summer break, and the plan is that they'll spend a week with Mrs Anderson and then take Blaine home with them to Columbus for three weeks. Neither Kurt nor Blaine are thrilled at the thought of a three-week separation, but Blaine does miss his parents and his old friends and his home town occasionally. Kurt knows he does. And he's happy for Blaine that he'll get to spend so much time with the people he loves, it's just that – he's going to miss him terribly.

He makes a point of spending a lot of time with both Blaine and his parents once they arrive, being at his best behavior, wanting to impress them. He and Blaine have been dating for a year now and they're happy, and Kurt is pretty confident in his opinion that this thing between them is serious, permanent. Getting along with Blaine's parents seems, therefore, to be of some importance.

And it turns out to be easy enough – he has already met Mr Anderson briefly a few times over the years whenever he dropped off Blaine at the beginning of every summer and winter. He's always liked him, and has no reason to change his opinion of him now. He's a quiet man with a constant amused sparkle in his eyes, eyes that are full of affection every time he looks at his son. Blaine's mom is vibrant, always laughing, always hugging, always having a joke ready. Kurt likes both of them, even more because Blaine seems genuinely happy to have them here.

It's a Wednesday and three days before Blaine is supposed to leave with his parents, when Kurt gets a text from Mike. He reads it, sitting on Mrs Anderson's couch next to Blaine, frowning.

“Mike asked me to come over,” he says.

Blaine looks at him curiously. “Uh, okay? Did he say why?”

Kurt shrugs. “Not really.”

“Huh.”

“I don't have to go if -” Kurt glances at Blaine's parents across the room.

“No, no, you should go,” Blaine assures him. “That's okay.”

Kurt squeezes Blaine's hand. They'll have the next three days to still be together before Blaine has to leave for Columbus. “I'll call you when I get home,” he promises.

Blaine squeezes his hand back. “Okay.”

They're not quite comfortable kissing in front of Blaine's parents yet, so Kurt just smiles at him and walks from the living room.

**

It turns out that the reason Mike texted is that Tina dumped him. It takes Kurt all of an hour to get that information out of him, after losing round after round to Mike in every video game ever invented. Apparently, Mike plays rather aggressively when he's sad.

But once the information is out, they stop playing altogether, and Kurt listens instead while Mike talks. Seems like they had a simple fight over something stupid and Kurt offers his help any way he can.

“I'll talk to Tina,” he offers. “I know she loves you, I'm sure we can fix this!”

“Yeah, I don't know,” Mike says, rubbing a tired hand across his face.

Kurt decides to take immediate action, snatches the phone that Mike was just going to use to call Tina away from him and uses it instead to round up Finn, Sam, Puck and Artie. He figures that while he's good enough friends with most of them, they're more likely to react to an invitation from Mike than one from him, so he texts them from Mike's phone. And together they take Mike to the movies where they see something immensely action-packed and without even a hint of romance to take his mind off of Tina for at least a while. He thinks about including Blaine for a second, but figures Blaine probably wants to spend time with his family tonight. He hasn't seen them since last Christmas, after all.

Once he has dropped Mike off at his house after the movie and is finally walking home, he has definitely missed dinner and it is already getting dark. He takes his phone from the pocket of his shorts and checks it for the first time since that afternoon. He has three missed calls from Blaine and a number of texts.

He scrolls through them while he continues walking.

**From Blaine, 5:17pm**   
_Dad just got a call from work, apparently we have to leave tomorrow already?_

**From Blaine, 5:17pm**   
_They said they needed him back earlier, this really sucks!_

**From Blaine, 6:11pm**   
_So, I assume you're still at Mike's then. Anyway, come over when you're done there? I want to see you before I leave! Xxx_

**From Blaine, 7:20pm**   
_Kurt? Are you mad at me that I have to leave earlier?_

**From Blaine, 7:21pm**   
_Or is something wrong with Mike? Just text me back quickly? Love you!_

**From Blaine, 8:34pm**   
_no, seriously, is everything okay? You always text back so quickly usually..._

**From Blaine, 9:12pm**   
_You could at least acknowledge the fact that we're not going to see each other for almost four weeks now and you're missing our last night together._

**From Blaine, 10:03pm**   
_Fine. Don't write back. I have to go to bed now, so I hope you have a good summer, Kurt!_

The last text is barely fifteen minutes old, and Kurt dials Blaine's number immediately, hoping to catch him still awake. It keeps ringing until it goes to voicemail.

Kurt frowns, slowing his steps to send Blaine a text instead.

**From Kurt, 10:19pm**   
_I'm so so sorry, I literally just saw your text! Are you still awake? Coming home now!_

He waits a minute, but when no reply is coming, he sends another one.

**From Kurt, 10:20pm**   
_Mike and Tina broke up. We had to cheer him up, that's why I didn't check my phone. I am really sorry, Blaine! I'd love to say goodbye to you before you leave, can I see you?_

He walks the rest of the way home, stopping in front of Blaine's house, phone still in his hand. Blaine still hasn't replied, but Kurt can still see the lights on behind the window of Blaine's room. So he dials Blaine's number again, holds the phone to his ear.

It rings for a long time and he's about to give up, when Blaine finally picks up.

“Hey,” he says shortly.

“Blaine!” Kurt breathes a sigh of relief. “Did you get my texts? I am so, so sorry, please believe me, I didn't really have a chance to check my phone and -”

“It's fine, Kurt,” Blaine says, but it's clear from his voice that it's really not.

“Can I still see you?” Kurt asks, a little desperate now. They won't see each other for weeks, and he really does want to see Blaine one more time before then. “I'm right outside your house.”

“I'm just really tired,” Blaine answers. “And I have to get up very early tomorrow.”

“Just for a second?” Kurt almost begs.

Blaine is silent for a minute and Kurt holds his breath, until Blaine says, “Everyone has gone to bed already and I don't want to wake them up. I'll just – I'll see you when I get back, okay?”

Kurt nods, even though he knows Blaine can't see him, and swallows heavily. He doesn't like this. “You're mad at me.” It's not a question. It's obvious.

“I'm not mad, I'm just tired,” Blaine insists. “It's not my fault you didn't check your phone earlier.”

“Blaine, I already said I'm sorry, don't you think I'd rather have spent my night with you?” he asks. “It's just that Mike was so sad, and I just -”

“Just – whatever, Kurt, okay?” Blaine does sound tired now. “I really need to go to sleep now.”

Kurt just breathes for a second, desperate for something to say, something that will convince Blaine to just come downstairs for a minute. “When will you be leaving tomorrow?” he asks. “I can get up early and say goodbye to you then!”

“It's going to be really early,” Blaine says.

“I don't mind,” Kurt tries. “I just want to see you. I'll just set my alarm, I can -”

“Don't,” Blaine says. “There's no need. I'll – I'll call you tomorrow.”

Kurt has to fight the tears now and his voice wavers a little as he says, “I'll miss you.”

“Yeah. I really have to go now.”

“I love you,” Kurt hurries to say.

There's another silence of a few seconds before Blaine says, quietly, “I love you too.” And then he hangs up.

Kurt stands for a moment longer, phone clutched tightly in his hand, staring up at Blaine's window with tears in his eyes. This is the worst. This feels like a fight. They haven't had a fight like this before. After a minute or so, he can see Blaine's shape behind the window and for a moment, his heart gives a hopeful little leap – Blaine is going to open the window and tell him he'll come downstairs after all – but then he just closes the blinds, blocking out the light that had been spilling out onto the street.

Kurt hangs his head and walks home across the street, steps heavy as he wonders how the night could have turned into this.

**

Kurt still sets the alarm for 6am the next morning in the hopes of still catching Blaine, but by the time he makes it downstairs, he just sees the taillights of the Anderson's car disappear down the road.

Blaine does not call that day.

Kurt thinks about calling first, but if Blaine really is mad at him, maybe he just needs some space right now. Kurt hates the idea. But he still manages not to call. He does send him a text sometime in the late afternoon, just saying, _I miss you like crazy!_ He hopes Blaine understands.

Blaine doesn't call all through the next day either. However, in the evening just before dinner, Kurt finally gets a text back, simply saying, _miss you too_. Nothing more, but it's a start at least.

They talk on the phone for a bit the next day, Kurt almost sobbing with relief when Blaine's name flashes on his phone screen.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Blaine responds, and then nothing.

“How are you?”

Blaine seems to have to think about that for a second. “I'm kind of really busy, actually,” he says finally. “Like, my mom still has the next week off and she's made this whole list of things for us to do. I think she really missed me.”

“Of course she did,” Kurt throws in.

“And then there are some friends from my old glee club who wanted to catch up with me, so I'm out a lot. With them.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, nodding. “Yes, of course! I hope you're having fun!”

“I am,” Blaine says. “Just, you know, if I don't call or text a lot, it's because I'm just busy, you know?”

“No, yeah, I understand,” Kurt assures him. “I just – I really miss you. And I'm a little scared that you're still mad at me. I hope you know how sorry I am -”

“It wasn't really your fault that my dad needed to leave early,” Blaine says.

“No, I know, but if I had just checked my phone -”

“You're not required to check your phone every half hour, especially when you're hanging out with other people. Seriously, it's fine,” Blaine says, sounding a little impatient.

Kurt's heart sinks. This isn't going well at all. “I'm still sorry,” he says quietly. “I really wanted to kiss you goodbye.”

“Yeah, well,” Blaine says. “It's just a few more weeks.”

“Just a few more weeks,” Kurt echoes. “I know. I just really want you here with me right now. It's so weird being away from you.”

“Maybe this is good for us, though,” Blaine says, and Kurt can't breathe for a second.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean that we've been spending a lot of time together since we started dating.”

“I love spending time with you!”

“I love spending time with you too, Kurt, but – I don't know. Maybe we've come to expect too much of one another. Maybe some space is just what we need. You know. To really appreciate what we have once we're back together.”

Kurt swallows. “Space?”

Blaine is silent for a moment that stretches endlessly between them. “I think we should just give each other some room to breathe for a few days.”

Kurt shakes his head emphatically. “That's not what I want! I want to – Do you not want us to call each other anymore?” he asks.

“We can text,” Blaine says. “I won't always be able to respond right away, because I'll be busy, but – yeah. We can do that.”

Kurt feels like crying. “I don't like this,” he confesses.

“I'm sorry,” Blaine says. “But it's what I need right now.”

“Fine.” Kurt doesn't know what else there is to say, he just feels horrible. “I still hope you have a good time with your family, Blaine. I really do.”

“Thanks, Kurt,” Blaine says, and then, quietly, “I love you. You know that.”

“I love you too,” Kurt breathes, and lets Blaine hang up first.

Kurt lets the phone drop onto his bed and blinks, eyes stinging. His chest feels too tight, he has trouble breathing properly – Is Blaine going to break up with him? Is that was this just was? Maybe he just didn't want to do it over the phone. Blaine is the kind of guy who prefers important conversations face to face. But if that's what's going to happen once they see each other again, Kurt hopes that Blaine will just stay in Columbus indefinitely. It's going to be fine, they're going to do long-distance until Blaine no longer wants to dump him.

Oh _god_. Kurt curls his arms around his stomach, hunching over, taking a few deep breaths in and out, and in – he cannot lose Blaine. He _loves_ him, so so much. He doesn't want space, he doesn't want to have to wait weeks to talk about this. All he wants is Blaine. He can't even imagine not getting to kiss him ever again...

He turns his head to look for the phone he'd dropped, he needs to talk to someone; he needs to talk to Tina or Mercedes or – his eyes fall on Walter, the penguin that was Blaine's favorite toy as a kid. The penguin Blaine gave to him when they were kids and Kurt was sad.

And he draws in another shaky breath, pressing a hand to his mouth as if that could keep the emotions inside. He can't stop the tears anymore as he reaches for the stuffed toy with a trembling hand.

It's not the first time he cries into Walter's soft white stomach, but it's the first time in a long time that he just can't seem to remember how to stop.

**

Kurt hangs out with Tina the next day, mostly because Mike asked him to in order to find out if she still has feelings for him, but also because she's his friend and he wants to be there for her in case she needs him.

He keeps his phone close, though, checking it regularly in case there's a text from Blaine.

There isn't.

He thinks about texting first, but if Blaine needs space, shouldn't he at least try to give him that? He thinks it's really the least he can do right now, even if it hurts him. It's what Blaine wants, so Kurt clenches his jaw and curls his fingers into fists and turns his attention back to Tina, who is saying something about how Mike was so frustrating with letting his parents push him toward a career in medicine when she knows he really wanted to be a dancer...

Kurt doesn't sleep well that night.

The next day, he goes to help his dad in the garage, purposefully locking his phone away in the office in the back, only allowing himself to check it every half hour at most. Around noon, he finally gets a text.

_I hope you're having a good day. My mom took me shopping this morning._

Kurt feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. This might not mean anything, but it's a start at least. Blaine had promised him texting. _Buy anything interesting?_ he texts back. And then adds, _Working in the garage today, please distract me with talk of beautiful clothes? These coveralls are awful._

He waits five minutes, but when nothing else comes, he sits down to eat his sandwich instead. Blaine had said that he was going to be busy. By the time Kurt has finished his lunch and washed his hands, he finally has a text back.

_Would love to distract you, but I'm meeting up with an old friend right now. Talk to you later._

Kurt frowns, heart sinking again, but then texts back, _Alright. Have fun! I love you!_

It takes Blaine all of three hours to respond with an _I love you too._

But, Kurt thinks, at least he did say it.

**

He knows he's totally moping and he can tell that people are noticing from the way Mike insists on suddenly including him in every video game night and every trip to the lake and every water fight in his backyard. He can also tell from the way Mercedes and Tina invade his room one afternoon just when he was about to go out and ask Mrs Anderson if she needed any help walking Alfie.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, stopping with the light summer scarf he was going to wear draped half around his neck.

“We need to talk to you,” Tina says, voice serious.

“I was actually just on my way out, I need to walk my neighbor's dog -” he starts, but Mercedes snorts.

“Blaine's dog, right?”

Kurt straightens his shoulders, holding his head up defensively. “His grandmother's dog, if you must know.”

“In that case, never mind, 'cause we just saw her turn the corner down the block when we arrived. I think she doesn't need your help today.”

“Oh,” Kurt says. “Okay. Well then, I'm going shopping.”

“Nope,” Tina informs him as Mercedes rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “You're staying right here. This is an intervention.” They both take one of his arms, dragging him backwards to the bed until the backs of his knees his the mattress and he sits down involuntarily.

“Stop that,” he hisses, jerking his arms free. “What is wrong with you?”

They take a seat on either side of him, Mercedes giving him a firm look. “We could ask you the same thing. Seriously. Are you going to be like this all summer? You didn't even come to Rachel's movie night sleepover last week. And Mike says you didn't want to go to the lake with the rest of the guys -”

“I wasn't feeling well!”

Tina sighs. “You know that Blaine will be back eventually, right? You're allowed to have fun without him here. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to -”

“Blaine is breaking up with me,” Kurt blurts out, and there's that familiar ache in his chest again. “Once he comes home.”

Mercedes and Tina both just stare at him like he's grown an extra head.

“Um,” Mercedes says.

“What?” Tina asks.

“Yeah, I really don't see that happening.” Mercedes shakes her head at him.

Kurt swallows. “We … had a fight. Before he left. And now he doesn't want to talk on the phone and we have been texting a bit, but it's weird, and – oh god, I wish he'd just get it over with.”

“You had a fight,” Tina repeats. “Is that all?”

“Yeah, I mean, couples fight all the time,” Mercedes says. “That doesn't mean -”

“Didn't you break up with Shane after a fight?” Kurt asks her, then looks at Tina. “And you and Mike didn't even have a real fight, you had a disagreement. And you still dumped him.”

Tina frowns. “That's not -”

“Shane and I weren't anything like you and Blaine,” Mercedes cuts in. “What makes you think he's going to dump you?”

Kurt closes his eyes, shaking his head. He feels so tired. “I just – It feels like he is.”

Mercedes nudges Kurt's shoulder with her own. “Hey. Maybe he isn't, though. Don't freak out before you've talked to him.”

“Yeah, maybe he's afraid that you're going to dump him too?” Tina suggests. “I could totally see this turn out to be a giant misunderstanding!”

“Thanks guys, but -” Kurt shakes his head sadly. “You weren't there. You can't – Oh god. I don't want him to break up with me. I just -” He swallows heavily again, trying to keep the tears in. He hasn't cried in days. He's been so good about not crying.

The girls are quiet for a second, until Mercedes tries carefully, “You know. Even if – and I'm not saying it's going to happen, but even if he broke up with you. It wouldn't be the end of the world, you know? People break up all the time.”

Kurt shakes his head. “Not us. Not Blaine and I. We don't.”

“But she has a point,” Tina says. “There are other boys. I know you love him, but I'm just saying – you're really young. These things happen. And you know we're here for you either way.”

“Exactly,” Mercedes agrees. “You still got us. Don't miss out on your entire summer just because of this. We'll distract you, if you let us. You know, you don't need a boyfriend to -”

“But he's not just my _boyfriend_ ,” Kurt interrupts, frustrated. “He's not, he's -”

“Oh, honey,” Mercedes says, and Kurt feels the first tear roll down his cheek.

“He's so much more, he's – my best friend, he's – he's my _Blaine_ , you know? And I don't know what I'm going to do without him.”

“Kurt -” Tina is rubbing his back, and she actually looks worried now.

Kurt just shakes his head, biting his lip. He knows he's being a bit dramatic, but it's Blaine, and Blaine is not just some random boy, he's never been just some random boy. He's _everything_.

Before he can stop them, Mercedes is hugging him from one side and Tina from the other, squishing him in between them as he breathes through the tight feeling around his heart.

**

The texts do get a bit more frequent the second week that Blaine is away, which Kurt supposes is a good thing. The only problem is that he can't really figure out what is okay to mention and what isn't, he's even afraid to text a simple _I love you_ at this point, not knowing if it's entirely welcome anymore. The thought that it might not be hurts so much he has trouble breathing every time he thinks of it. He just wants Blaine to come home so they can talk face to face again, figure all of this out the way they should have the very night this fight started. He should never have just gone home, he thinks now. He should have insisted on talking to Blaine. He should have slept on Mrs Anderson's front porch so that Blaine would have had to step on him on his way to the car, and maybe then they could have had a real conversation.

By the third week their texts have gone entirely weird and Kurt feels helpless and a little desperate at this point.

**Text from Kurt:**   
_Still having fun with your family?_

**Text from Blaine:**   
_Yes. Thank you._

**Text from Kurt:**   
_Tell them I said hi? Also, I miss you._

**Text from Blaine:**   
_I will._

**Text from Blaine:**   
_Miss you too BTW._

**Text from Kurt:**   
_I walked Alfie today for your grandmother. She said to remind you to let her know what she should cook for you when you come back._

**Text from Blaine:**   
_Right. I'll call her tonight. Thanks._

**Text from Blaine:**   
_Raining a lot here today. I hope it's better in Lima._

**Text from Kurt:**   
_No, it's raining here too. Puddles on the street and everything._

**Text from Blaine:**   
_At least my grandma's peonies will appreciate the weather after the heat of the last few days._

**Text from Kurt:**   
_Apparently Mike and Tina are back together. Yay!_

**Text from Blaine:**   
_I'm happy for them._

**Text from Kurt:**   
_Very long day at the garage with mostly very pissed customers. Hope your day was better._

**Text from Blaine:**   
_My day was fine, thank you. Sorry, have to go to dinner now._

**

Kurt knows what day Blaine will be back, so he goes over to Mrs Anderson's early that afternoon, deciding to hang out there and wait for him. He no longer cares if he's overstepping or if this isn't what Blaine wants or if he's making everything worse with this. It's been three and a half weeks of very awkward texting and not even an acknowledgment that they missed each other for days, and he hasn't had a proper night's sleep in over a week.

And it had just been a stupid fight. He still doesn't get how it could have gotten to this, but this is where they are right now. And after all those weeks, he just has to know. He has to know if they're over. And if Blaine has already decided to break things off between them, giving him the space to unload his bags from the car won't convince him to rethink his decision.

So Kurt sits in Mrs Anderson's living room, drinking hot chocolate even if he's more of a coffee drinker by now and it's ridiculously hot outside, but she had offered and he'd said yes because for just a minute, he wanted to be that little boy again who hung out in her living room waiting for his best friend Blaine to arrive for the summer. Things had been so much simpler back then.

The hot chocolate is long gone and Mrs Anderson has given him more than one worried glance by the time they hear a car pull up outside.

Kurt jumps up off the couch, straightens the fabric of his shorts, runs a careful hand over his hair, bites his lip nervously. “Maybe this was a bad idea -” he mumbles, “Maybe I should just – out the back door -”

Mrs Anderson's hand pats his forearm gently. “He does want to see you,” she assures him, eyes warm and a little worried.

Kurt sighs, shakes his head. “How do you know? I mean – what if he doesn't? What if -” He swallows, unable to even say the words. He can't lose Blaine over a stupid fight like this.

“Because every time he called the entire time he was away, you were all he ever talked about,” she says.

Kurt feels his eyes widen. “What?”

She smiles. “It was always 'Have you seen Kurt lately,' 'How is Kurt,' Yes, I know that movie, I saw it with Kurt a few times,' 'If you're making lasagna you should invite Kurt over, it's his favorite.'”

He draws in a breath. “Seriously?”

She laughs. “He missed you. I think he just didn't know how to say it.”

“' _I miss you_ ' would have probably given me that message.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Yes, I agree, that's what I kept telling him.”

“I need to -”

Kurt smiles at her apologetically, motioning toward the front door, and she shoos him away, laughing. “You go ahead. I'm not that fast anymore on my old legs.”

Kurt kisses her cheek. “You don't get older, you just get more fabulous every day,” he tells her.

She grins at him in a way that reminds him so much of Blaine, and says, “If my grandson doesn't propose to you soon, I'm going to do it myself.”

Kurt laughs brightly, and then hurries toward the front door, impatient now to see his boyfriend after all those weeks.

He stops on the front porch as he sees Blaine getting out of the car, sees him straightening his back, lifting his head to look up, sees him stop, freeze the second his eyes land on Kurt.

There's a second's hesitation – all of a sudden Kurt isn't as sure anymore as he'd been a minute ago, because what if Blaine's grandma hadn't been right after all? What if Blaine still wants to end things between them? What if he's not happy to see Kurt? What if -

But then Blaine takes a simple step forward, eyes bright and eyebrows drawn together in a look that's so full of longing, and Kurt can't stop himself.

In a few long strides he's crossing the driveway, Blaine hurrying forward to meet him, and their bodies crash together with enough force to make them stagger sideways as they close their arms tightly around each other.

He can feel Blaine's face pressing against his neck and tightens his arms around his shoulders, clinging to him with everything he's got, and he feels like he could cry.

“I missed you so much,” Blaine says a little roughly, and Kurt shudders, burying his face in Blaine's hair.

“I missed you too, I missed you, oh god, Blaine -”

“Kurt -” Blaine says, then draws back a little, just enough to look into his eyes. “Kurt,” he repeats quietly, something like desperation in his voice.

Kurt wants to kiss him. But he knows they should talk first. “Let's go somewhere quiet?” he says.

Blaine nods, then looks over at his mom who's gotten out of the car, smiling at them from a few feet away.

Kurt smiles back at her.“Hi Mrs Anderson” he says.

“Hi Kurt,” she says. “I – um.” She motions toward the front door. “I'm just gonna go inside. Blaine, honey, we can get your things from the car later.”

“Thanks, mom,” Blaine says, then turns back to Kurt as she starts walking up to the front door. “Backyard?”

“Please,” Kurt says, finally letting go of Blaine.

They don't hold hands as they make their way to the old playhouse, things suddenly a little strained again. They can't erase the past few weeks with a simple hug, as good as it might have felt in the moment.

Inside the playhouse, they sit down on the two folding chairs they're still keeping in there, facing each other across the small rickety table. It feels oddly formal.

“So,” Kurt says.

“So,” Blaine repeats, biting his lip.

“Blaine, I'm so so sorry,” Kurt says. “I didn't mean to -”

“No,” Blaine interrupts. “I'm sorry. This is my fault. I was just – I didn't like the idea of going back to Columbus for the summer because … you know it holds some really bad memories and I was scared, I guess. About running into some people. And when I heard we had to leave even earlier – I just got nervous. And then you wouldn't answer your phone and I just felt – I just really wanted you. I needed you that night.”

“And I should have been there,” Kurt insists. “I should have spent your last night here with you, I should have -”

“You didn't do anything wrong,” Blaine interrupts again. “I just – when you finally called, I had had so much time to be mad at you, I didn't even want to let you explain anything. That was stupid of me.”

“So you _were_ mad at me.”

“Yes,” Blaine admits. “But that's just the thing. I shouldn't have been. You're your own person. And you couldn't have known. And we can't – we can't be like that. We can't do this.”

Kurt feels all the blood drain out of his face. “Don't break up with me,” he says before he can stop himself.

Blaine's head snaps up. “What? Oh my god! No. No! That's not what I meant at all. I just meant we can't rely on each other like that. I was mad that you went to hang out with Mike when I really needed you. And you couldn't even have _known_ I'd need you. I was just jealous, okay? I was jealous that I wasn't your first priority all of the time, and that's just really unhealthy. We need to spend time with other friends and we don't always need to do it together.”

“Is that why you didn't want to talk while you were away?” Kurt wants to know.

Blaine nods. “At first, I was still really upset. But then it occurred to me that it might actually be good for us. To remember that we have a life outside of each other. We've been so wrapped up in each other, I feel like ever since I moved here, I've been keeping you from your other friends so much and then I get all jealous and upset when you go spend an evening with Mike, and I don't want to be that kind of boyfriend.”

“But you're not,” Kurt insists. “You're not, Blaine. I do agree that it's a good idea to do our own thing a little more than we might have in the past. But you are always my first priority. And nothing you say is going to change that.”

Blaine smiles, almost a little shyly. “And you're mine,” he says. “And I'm really sorry I didn't just say all of this to you that night we first spoke on the phone. But I really just -”

“It's okay,” Kurt says. “I mean, it hurt. I won't say that it didn't. And I think we need to talk more about this. But for now, I'd really like to kiss you, if you don't mind.”

Blaine's face lights up at that. “I'd like that,” he says, then rises from his chair, walking around the table to offer Kurt his hand.

Kurt takes it, lets himself be pulled to his feet and against Blaine's chest.

“I love you,” Blaine says, slipping his arms around Kurt's waist. “I really love you, Kurt, and I'm sorry I didn't say it enough these past few weeks.”

“I really love you too, Blaine,” Kurt says, and then he leans down and kisses him, _finally_.

 

** Winter **

It's a cold winter, but that has never really been a reason for Blaine to not go outside. So they build a snowman in Kurt's backyard, they even have a snowball fight with Mike and Puck and Finn (since Finn and his mom live with Kurt and his dad now, which still takes some getting used to), and Kurt lets Blaine go ice skating with Rachel and Tina while he has a fantastic day watching movies with Mercedes and Sugar instead.

It's after one of those cold days outside that they find themselves in Mrs Anderson's living room, and it's warm and cozy inside and Mrs Anderson is away that afternoon visiting a friend and Kurt and Blaine use the time to curl up on the couch, a movie they're decidedly not watching on in the background, and just make out for hours.

It's a little after five when Mrs Anderson calls to let them know she won't make it back that night, which is also the first time in hours that Kurt and Blaine actually look out the window to realize they have missed a fantastic blizzard.

“Looks cold,” is all Kurt says.

“You should maybe call your dad and tell him you're staying over tonight,” Blaine suggests.

Kurt nods absentmindedly. “He'd never let me,” he says. “But I have a little time before I need to leave.”

Blaine thinks about that for a minute. “Let's build a blanket fort,” he suggests eventually.

Kurt raises an eyebrow at him, but agrees anyway.

**

The blanket fort is awesome. There's enough room inside for both of them to lie down comfortably and it's darker than the living room, and it doesn't take them very long before they're making out again, Blaine on top of Kurt, both of their sweaters and shirts already off, bare chests rubbing together in a way that feels entirely too good.

“I could do this for hours,” Blaine breathes against Kurt's neck, and Kurt agrees with a little low hum and rolls them around so that he's on top of Blaine.

The movement makes their hips align perfectly, the arousal that has built over the course of the afternoon obvious as their cocks press together through the fabric of their pants.

“Hngh,” Blaine supplies eloquently.

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees, grinding down just a bit, and then again because the friction shoots delicious tiny sparks all along his spine. “That okay?”

“Pants off,” Blaine gasps, immediately sliding his hand in between them to go for Kurt's zipper.

“You have the best ideas.” Kurt leans down to kiss him quickly and messily, then starts undressing Blaine in turn.

It's slow, unhurried, warm and gentle. Blaine spreads his legs so Kurt can settle between, and they just rock against each other, dicks rubbing against each other's bellies. And Kurt moans into Blaine's neck, hands sliding under Blaine's shoulders, fingers digging in for better leverage.

He rolls his hips down and down and down, the hair on Blaine's naked thighs scratching against his own naked thighs, Blaine's chest heaving underneath him. He never wants this to end.

It doesn't take long until they pick up speed, want and longing and need so thick in the air between and around them, just like every time they do this.

Kurt can already feel the pressure building deep inside, can tell from Blaine's breathy little moans that he's close as well.

Blaine comes first, crying out and bucking up underneath Kurt, body going tight as he coats both of their chests with rope after rope of come.

Kurt keeps thrusting against him, sliding his cock through the mess on Blaine's stomach, until the orgasm explodes from his groin all the way to his toes and fingertips, mouth falling open and eyes squeezing shut as he gasps his way through it, riding out the waves in aborted little jerks of his hips until he's spent.

They lay side by side, faces nuzzled together, and Kurt thinks about how they definitely need to wash those blankets now before Mrs Anderson comes back.

“I don't want you to go home,” Blaine whispers, and Kurt kisses him deeply, their panting breaths finally calming again.

“And I don't want to go,” he admits. “I just want to hold you. All night.”

Which is exactly when his phone starts ringing. Cursing, he disentangles their bodies, crawling out of the fort to find his phone that he'd dropped on the couch earlier.

It's his dad. “Hi,” Kurt answers, hoping he doesn't sound too suspiciously naked. Is it possible to sound naked? Because he feels very naked right now. He _is_ very naked. “What's up?”

“Blaine's grandma called,” his dad says. “Told me she wasn't coming home tonight and asking if Blaine could maybe stay over at our place tonight. So. Could you ask him?”

Kurt's face lights up. “I'll ask him, but I'm sure he'll want to,” he says.

“He'll sleep on the couch,” his dad reminds him firmly, and Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Yes, dad.” He hangs up, turning around to where Blaine is now standing next to the fort, as naked as Kurt and still sweaty and with drying come all over his belly, looking at him questioningly.

“My dad wants to know if you want to stay over at our place tonight,” Kurt explains.

Blaine nods enthusiastically. “Yes. Absolutely. This is great!” He frowns. “I'll have to sleep on the couch, won't I?”

Kurt laughs. “Well, yes, of course. But once everyone is asleep I'll sneak back downstairs and we can cuddle all night.”

“Delayed afterglow,” Blaine muses. “Sounds like an excellent idea.”

Kurt closes the few feet between them, hugging Blaine close. “I knew you'd like it. Now let's get in another half hour of naked cuddling in our blanket fort before we have to shower and go have dinner.”

“I love you,” Blaine says, tugging Kurt by the hand to their fort.

“I love you too,” Kurt answers, smiling happily.

It's a cold winter in Ohio. The blizzard keeps raging outside, snow falling heavily, covering everything in a thick layer of beautiful white.

Inside their blanket fort, Kurt wraps Blaine up in his arms and feels like it's never been warmer.


	14. Kurt is Eighteen Years Old

** Summer **

It is the best news of the year when they find out that they have both been accepted into NYADA. They celebrate by hiding away in the old playhouse for an entire afternoon, making plans for New York in between heated kisses.

Kurt really just wants to get Blaine naked and thinks that the prospect of them going to the same college and getting to spend their time in New York together deserves a little celebratory sex, but Blaine's grandma is home and even though they're both eighteen years old now, she doesn't seem inclined to stop checking in on them regularly.

But that's okay too. Kurt consoles himself with the knowledge that very soon, they'll be living in the dorms at NYADA and it will (hopefully) be easier to find some uninterrupted time to just be together and be naked together then.

For now, they eventually emerge from their old playhouse, lips swollen and chapped from hours of making out and both of them a little too obviously aroused for civilized company just then. So they lounge around on the garden chairs, talking and holding hands until they feel they have cooled down enough again to rejoin the rest of the world.

That weekend, Rachel throws a going away party for all of them – she'll be joining them at NYADA and Kurt is kind of happy about that, since they have been becoming good friends lately. Everyone is there, all of his old friends, and for a moment, Kurt almost feels sad about leaving.

He does remember all of his lonely months and years when it seemed like none of them really understood him or wanted anything to do with him. But he thinks they have all more than made up for it by now by being some of the best friends anyone could ever wish for.

Blaine has a few beers with Sam and Puck while Kurt hangs out with Mercedes and Sugar, making them promise to stay in touch and visit him in New York as soon as they possibly can.

When Blaine finds him again, his eyes are a little glassed over and he stumbles against Kurt's chest, breath smelling like alcohol when he leans in for a kiss. “This party is awesome,” he declares, a little slurred. “Our friends are awesome. But you're the awesomest of them all, you know that right?”

Kurt laughs, rubbing Blaine's back, kissing his nose playfully. “You're drunk, honey.”

“I just, I love you so much, you know that?” Blaine asks, staring into his eyes with a dreamy expression. “Like, it's just stupid how much I love you, and you're my best friend too, and how awesome is that? I love my best friend,” he sighs, slumping forward and burying his face against Kurt's chest. “I love _everything_.”

Kurt folds his arms around Blaine and sways them a little side to side and feels indescribably happy. “I love you too,” he says. “Even when you're being a completely embarrassing drunk. Even then I still really love you.”

“Yay,” Blaine says, and then pulls back, suddenly looking pale and a little sick. “I don't feel so good.”

Kurt grins and takes Blaine's arm to lead him towards the stairs. “Come on. Let's go get you some air and maybe a few glasses of water.”

 

** Winter **

Finding any real alone time in New York turns out to be almost as difficult as it was back home. They both have roommates now, and while they have both worked out arrangements with them to get the rooms to themselves sometimes, Kurt can't help but feel nervous every time they have sex that someone will walk in on them anyway.

That hasn't stopped them from going at it at every available opportunity their first few weeks there – it had worked out very well since Kurt's roommate had a girlfriend who lived in an apartment off campus and had spent a lot of nights there.

And Blaine had been in Kurt's room almost all the time, in various stages of undress, and it had been the most amazing time _ever_ , no parental supervision, just the two of them basking in the fact that they were actually adults now and living on their own and able to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted.

But then their classes had picked up and Kurt's roommate had broken up with his girlfriend, and suddenly, finding time for each other had been a lot more difficult. An added problem had been their expanding social circles, their many new friends all demanding some of their free time.

So a few days before winter break when they're done with all of their tests and reviews, Kurt decides to take Blaine out on a real New York date. They haven't really done that yet, at first being too busy getting each other's clothes off and then busy with classes and assignments and friends.

He's really looking forward to this now and decides to go all out, a show and dinner and maybe a romantic stroll after that, because in New York, they can actually do all that and he intends to enjoy that fact.

He picks Blaine up at his dorm room on Saturday afternoon, heart leaping in his chest when Blaine opens the door. God, he's so in love with this man. More than two years of dating him and that feeling still hasn't gone away. Kurt hopes it never does. He offers Blaine his arm and Blaine takes it with a smile and a flustered fluttering of his lashes, and together they set off on their first real date in the city of their dreams.

Kurt got them tickets to a small production of _Chicago_ because Broadway had been too expensive with Christmas coming up and both of them having to travel home for the holidays, but it's still wonderful.

Blaine holds Kurt's hand all through the show, and Kurt runs his thumb over Blaine's knuckles and is so glad they're both here together.

Dinner is at a little place not far from the NYADA campus – they've both never been there before but Rachel had recommended it, having gone there on a few dates herself.

They steal bites off of each other's plates and share a slice of cheesecake afterwards and gaze into each other's eyes across the table, and there's a candle and a single rose in a vase between them. It is almost ridiculously romantic, and Kurt loves every second of it.

“This was amazing, Kurt,” Blaine says, once they have finished the cheesecake, reaching for Kurt's hand across the table. “Thank you for planning this for us. We should really do this more often, New York is so lovely like this and it is sort of one of the reasons we were looking forward so much to coming here and -”

“I want us to move in together,” Kurt blurts out, surprising even himself, because, oh, yeah, he totally does.

They'd had that discussion back in Ohio before filling out their applications for the dorms, they had talked about requesting each other as roommates. And they had agreed that it was probably better to wait, to put it off for a while, to just enjoy college without being tied down like that.

But now Kurt looks at Blaine across the table and remembers all the times over the past months when he had to get dressed too soon after sex to make it back to his room for the night, all the times when he had been alone and too cold in his dorm bed after Blaine had walked back to his own room before Kurt's roommate got back. He remembers those days when their class schedules were just insane and they didn't get to see each other at all all day, and how much he had wished he could at least curl up behind Blaine in bed at the end of the day.

He knows they had that conversation already, and they're supposed to be enjoying the freedom of college right now.

But the thought of living with Blaine doesn't seem restraining or stifling to him, it seems almost liberating because they won't have to rush across campus all the time anymore just for a quick kiss between classes. They'll have those kisses in the privacy of their own home at the end of the day. The thought of a home and a set routine and shopping lists stuck to the fridge and arguing over whose turn it is to take out the trash doesn't sound boring and predictable, it sounds _sexy_. And he wants it.

“Um, what?” Blaine says, looking at him with wide eyes.

Kurt blushes. “Move in with me?”

Blaine blinks. “What, right now?”

Kurt laughs. “Maybe next summer? That should give us some time to find a decent place. And to convince our families and friends that we're not completely insane and actually want this.” A thought occurs to him and he quickly bites his lip, suddenly unsure. “Unless, of course, you _don't_ actually want this, in which case just forget I ever said anything -”

“ _Yes_ ,” Blaine says on the end of an exhale, face breaking into the brightest smile Kurt has seen on him all day.

“Are you sure?”

Blaine laughs happily, taking both of Kurt's hands in his, eyes crinkling at the corners in sheer delight. “Oh my god. Yes. _Yes_! Of course I want to live with you, I miss you so much all the time now and it sucks that we don't even get to see each other some days, and oh my god, Kurt, _yes_ , I _love_ you, I'd move in with you right now if I could.”

Kurt squeezes Blaine's hands, a warm feeling of affection and contentment settling over him. “Okay. This summer, then.”

Blaine beams at him across the table. “I can't wait.”

Kurt grins back, then remembers something. “Do you remember when we were, like, ten, and made plans to live together as soon as we were old enough?”

Blaine nods, bouncing a little in his chair. “You're right! That's kind of amazing, thinking about it. Even our ten-year old selves new this was inevitable.”

“I guess I kind of always knew,” Kurt admits. “You were always special to me.”

“And you to me,” Blaine says, then adds, “I hope you haven't forgotten about the two dogs we wanted to have, one for you and one for me. Brownie and Nigel, if I remember correctly?”

Kurt groans. “Oh no. Oh no no no no. Who would even walk them? And I very much doubt we could find an apartment big enough that we could afford anyway!”

Blaine pouts at him. “We had a deal, Kurt!”

“Yes, but it was two dogs because we thought we'd be living in separate rooms. And I very much think that things have evolved to a point where it makes more sense for us to share a bed.”

Blaine's face breaks into another wide smile. “We're going to be sharing a bed.”

“I'm looking forward to it!”

“That's even better than having a dog.”

“I thought so.”

“Besides,” Blaine says, “We can always get one later once we can afford a bigger place.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “You're never letting this go, are you?”

Blaine leans forward, eyes locking with Kurt's. “No. I'm never letting _you_ go,” he says in a low voice.

“You're so ridiculous,” Kurt says, blushing dark red, but he thinks, _that's good. Because I'm never letting you go either._


End file.
